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Relationship Issues: Sex

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Relationship Issues: Sex

Sex can become a common source of tension for couples, particularly after a year or two in the relationship. Relationship Psychotherapist Paula Hall gives this advice to help you stop arguing about sex. Sex can become a common source of tension for couples, particularly after a year or two in the relationship. Relationship Psychotherapist Paula Hall gives this advice to help you stop arguing about sex.

After a couple of years in a relationship, it is not uncommon for sex - particularly the frequency and regularity - to become a source of tension. Normally the man wants it more often than the woman, and this causes arguments.

This is because men have up to 40 times more testosterone that women, and it is common for a woman's sex drive to drop off after a couple of years of being with a partner. This can make the man feel unwanted or rejected, and in return the woman may feel guilty that she's not providing for her partner's sexual needs.

Be aware though that the differences are biological, not personal. If you're the man you need to know that it's not you she's rejecting, but sex itself.

Make sure you both have other ways of showing each other affection, and don't let sex become a battleground. The more you fight about frequency and regularity, the less likely you are to have sex. The closer you are as a couple, the more likely you are to have sex.

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Tips & Comments
  1. pollyand

    Its amazing what the idea of cuddling is from a womens point of view versus the mens..lol!

  2. Existantia

    I have a similar problem, but opposite roles. I am a woman and I find the men I date want to have LESS sex than me. They want to have relationships, talk etc and I find it frustrating when they dont want to have sex LOL.

  3. ponyboy1978

    i try to talk my wife into sex ounce a week at least she calls says im horney i get all worked up and when i get there all i get is sorry im just not in the mood anymore. we've talked and i get it maybe two days that week then its back to the once every 3 to 4 weeks

  4. sexylittlelady77

    lucky girl its my boyfriend who never wants to have sex its SUCKS!

  5. paulipoo

    hence the reason throughout history, men always have had a mistress...if its biological then perhaps men with mistresses should be accepted by women? Interested to hear coments...

  6. SoontobeMrsT

    My fiance hardly ever wants sex. He wants blowjobs every day, however. This fact makes me feel so unwanted, undesirable, etc. We've talked about this issue (I don't mind giving them,but good god, I want some loving too. Sex is for two people!) , but talking has really gotten us nowhere. He has initiated sex maybe twice the entire year that we've been together (we have sex about once a week right now...I initiate every time). I'm a good looking girl and have dated tons of gorgeous guys...what is going on?

  7. tupai86

    Bah.. Women just want everything, whenever they want it, wherever they wanted it.. They dont want to have IT with their husband, but throw a HUGE tantrum when they found out that their husband is masturbating, or when the men get less attracted to their wife.. Damn Dang women.. WHAT THE *HEY* DO WOMEN WANT? ROBOT?

  8. Anonymous

    my hsband never wana give me a break if he can't have it then thats the end of speaking to me.i have to say sorry everytime.i hate that.

  9. inzanyty

    well i have a strategy; first my theory... Sex is like the stockmarket, high offer > low value & vice versa. So all the guy has to do is decrease the supply (yes i know its hard). Turn the tabels around, if she wants sex tell her your tired or not in the mood. Basicaly use the same methods girls use to brush guys off. Very important; dont do it in a mean spirited way. Make her work for it if she really wants it, dont give in to easily (youll just lose respect causse you show how much of an emotional weakling you are (been there, done that)) Certainly dont push her to have sex, she will push back till the point she doesnt enjoy sex anymore. Try it and enjoy ( btw: she=he>she=he)

  10. Anonymous

    what about when the man wants less sex, which is more taboo but also common?