Secrets Of Happily Married Men
Men and women are different. However, they have unique capabilities to make a marriage work. Learn more about the secrets of happily married men based on Dr. Scott Haltzman's book of the same title.
Step 1: Marriage Issues
With almost half of first marriages ending in divorce and an even greater percentage of second marriages following suit, it's obvious that the overload of self help marriage books, Dr. Phil instant therapy shows and prolific marriage counseling is not keeping marriages from failing. But every now and again, we find a relationship book with a wow factor, such as Dr. Holtzman's groundbreaking book, "The Secrets of Happily Married Men, 8 ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever."
Step 2: Dr. Holtzman
Dr. Holtzman, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University and the counselor for couples and individuals noticed that many men in counseling were hesitant to express their feelings and fears. He launched a website, www.secretsofmarriedmen.com, as a forum to research and support husbands' marriage skills and after interviewing thousands of men amassed a treasure trove of revealing information about men and marriage, which has been skillfully distilled into this enlightening practical book that should be required reading for both men and women in relationships.
Step 3: Equality of the Sexes
This book celebrates the equality of the sexes and acknowledges their innate strengths and skills. However, the distinguishing message is that there are definite and undeniable biological and emotional differences between men and women that need to be understood and utilized to benefit the relationship, not to create more conflict.
Step 4: How Men And Women Differ
Men have been socialized to believe that they are not good at relationships, as witnessed by the portrayal of inept husbands and boyfriends in sitcoms and movies. They've been shamed into thinking that they can't communicate or express themselves as women can, so they need to change. The author explains in a user-friendly style why men don't need to reinvent themselves in order to improve relationship skills. He describes the biological reasons why men and women differ and how they think and feel, particularly the structure of the brain that determines how we perceive the world, how we communicate and how we respond emotionally. It all begins to make sense why so many gender traits frustrate and irritate.
Step 5: The Various Chapters
Following the very compelling compare and contrast lesson on brain differences, the book devotes one chapter to each of the 8 strategies that happily married men have indicated are the crucial factors for enjoying a happy marriage while maintaining a strong sense of themselves as male. The chapters include: Make your Marriage your Job, Know Your Wife, Be Home Now, Expect Conflict and Deal with it. Learn to Listen, Aim to Please, Understand the Truth About Sex, Introduce Yourself. Each chapter has personal anecdotes along with insight, advice and useful to do lists to make it easy for everyone to follow the action steps. This book does not excuse boorish behavior from either sex. It does provide new and effective ways for men and women to understand and appreciate each other without losing the essential essence of their biology and their mental and physical makeup. As Dr. Holtzman writes, "When men worked hard to improve their marriages using their inborn manly skills to put their wives' needs above their own, not only did their marriages improve but they were happier and more fulfilled than at any other point in their lives. And women with important insight into the reasons their husbands behave the way they do, helped their men to be more successful partners."
