The Realm Of Bizarre News 21: Coneheads In Egypt
Wouldn’t it be awesome if one day, when you got the doctor’s trivia question correct, and you were just about to reach back to give yourself a pat on the back, Dr. Ruehl was there, standing behind you, and he gave you the pat on the back instead of you having to administer it to yourself?! Well, I’ll let you know when we have that contest. In the meantime, let’s learn about, Mars, Egypt, rabid baseball fans, and the love for chocolate that Dr. Ruehl shares with a shoplifting punk kid.
Step 1: Bizarre News Question:
Welcome once again ladies and gentlemen boys and girls to The Realm of Bizarre News. I’m your host Dr. Franklin Ruehl. We start off with a trivia question let me extricate here from it’s paper prison. The question, how many Egyptian dynasties were there? This is multiple choice was it 10, 20, 30, 40, or 50. The only prize one pat on the back that you’ll have to administer to yourself heck of a lot better than a slap on the belly with a wet trout.
Step 2: Possible evidence for martians:
Now back in 2004 the Spirit Rover on Mars photographed a new face of Mars. Its about the size of an actual human face in the Bonneville crater. Let me rotate it 90 degrees to show you that it has an decided cone headed configuration and some uthologists have argued that ancient martins actually settled in Egypt they had cone heads based on the following idea. Osiris the god of the underworld always depicted with a cone head headpiece. Fast forward to 3400 B.C. and we have Menes the first man to unite Upper and Lower Egypt always depicted with a cone head headpiece. Then fast forward to 1379 B.C. and we have Nefertiti the most beautiful woman of ancient Egypt always depicted with a cone head headpiece Nefertiti and as far as her six daughters are going here are two of them they always had a cone headed appearance.
Step 3: Cone Heads?
Now the theory is that cone headed martins landed in ancient Egypt. Then over time through intermarriage created so called half links half martins half humans such as Menes and Nefertiti and Nefertiti’s daughters were born normally, but had boards placed on their skulls at birth to impart a cone headed configuration in honor of the ancient cone head ancestors. Now we have a new study concerning her husband Akhenaten the Pharaoh the man who ended polytheism and started monotheism with worship of Autin the sun god. We don’t have his mummy but to an analysis from Yale of portraits and sculptures the idea is now confirmed that he had a egg shaped or cone shaped head. And also had a feminine physique to possible characteristic suggesting that he to may have been a half link half martin half-human. Now the idea of course again is that ancient Egypt was settled by cone headed martins.
Step 4: Triva Answer!
Now for that trivia question. How many Egyptian dynasties were there 10, 20, 30, 40, or 50? The answer 30 you’re absolutely correct. Now I should point out that there was a 31st the Tolaneg or Macedonian dynasty founded by Alexander the Great, which included Cleopatra.
Step 5: Calm down, lady!
Now to open the vault of strange guests here. We have a truly rabid baseball fan and this take place recently in Nashua, New Hampshire in a parking lot. A female Yankee fan had a sticker extolling the Yankees in her car. A group of Boston fans began taunting her so she got into the car and ran them down killed one and hospitalized the another and of course she is now in jail. Please if you get into a argument over baseball or any other sport and you’re leaving in the parking lot please be very careful we can’t afford to lose even one of you out there no.
Now here’s some candy and this pertains to a teen up in Birmington, Washington he went into a store and shoplifted several candy bars then escaped on his bike. A police officer chased him he denied stealing them when he was apprehended, but he had chocolate on his breath and finally admitted he could not resist this chocolate. And I can’t either so may I say until next time may the power of the cosmos be with you yes, yes, yes. And let me at this candy hmmmm very good mmhumm I’m a chocohali hmmmm.
