The Realm Of Bizarre News 7: Swimming With Sharks
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time to administer another episode of Dr. Ruehl to yourself. Are you ready for a lawyer joke? Have you been filleting your fish? And are you prepared for the truth about who or what is living on Mars? Yes? Yes? Yes?
Step 1: Introduction
Welcome! Once again.Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, to the Realm of Bizarre News.I'm your host, Dr. Franklin Rule
Step 2: Question Time
We'll start off with a trivia question. Let me extricate it here from it's paper prison.The question: What is the term for a group of sharks? Multiple choice inverse alphabetical order. Is that a totter? A shiver? A quiver? Or a hover? Now, the only prize for a correct answer is one pat on the back that you'll have to administer to yourself. That will do a lot better than a slap on the belly with a wet trout.
Step 3: Sharks
Now, speaking of sharks. An attorney up in Bozeman, Montana, is adding two sharks to an aquarium in his office. How will the sharks get along? Well, down in the Cerritos Library in southern California, they have a fish tank that includes two sharks that live in peaceful coexistance with the other fishies. But last week in the Bloomington Aquarium in Minnesota, one large shark tried to devour the smaller shark.
Step 4: A lawyer, a Doctor and a Preacher...
Now, a quick lawyer joke for you. A lawyer, a doctor and a preacher where in a rowboat fishing when the rowboat began sinking.Sharks surrounded it. They devoured the preacher and the doctor but allowed the lawyer to swim to shore safely. Why? Professional courtesy.
Step 5: Answer Time
Now, for that trivia question.A group of sharks--is that a totter, shiver, quiver, or hover? Is that your final answer? A quiver? No, it's a shiver of sharks; a totter of giraffes; a quiver of cobras; and a hover of trout, just in case you are ever on that millionaire show.
Step 6: Fillet Your Fish
By the way, just recently, speaking of fish, we had an opera singer, Juan Diego Flores, who swallowed a fish bone. It got lodged in his throat causing an infection. He's out of commission for two months. So please, fillet your fish before eating it. We don't want that happening to any of you, our loyal viewers.
Step 7: Martain on Mars
Now, for a new martian mystery. This, from the Spirit Rover, a photo of a humanoid on the surface. It seems to have long hair. It could be either male or female. A humanoid face, an outstretched arm, and two legs.It actually reminds me of the Mermaid of Copenhagan.Now, since this is a single photo, we don't know if this is a statue or living entity.Let's look at an enlargement created by yours truly.In this photo it looks like a Yeti, the Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas.The only way we are going to reslovle this issue is to send a manned expedition to the Red Planet.Now, NASA is saying this is simply a dust formation. Though with that outstretched arm, it dosen't look like dust to me. How about you? My contention is that in the past, there may have been an advanced civilization on the surface of Mars which created structures then migrated underground as the atmosphere thinned. And they still exist today. Certainly within the realm of feasibility. Some entities may also be on the surface. We'll find out in the future.
Step 8: Placenta
Now here's the actress, Nicole Kidman. She, apparently has preserved part of a placenta of the stillborn baby she had with Tom Cruise. She's not going to eat it but Tom Cruise said he would eat the placenta of his newborn baby girl, Suri.
Step 9: Shaken, Not Stirred
Around the world, some people do indeed, eat placentas. Some eat them raw. Some fry them. Others dry them out, grind them up, then capsulate them with geletan, swallowing the pills. Not for me. I'm sticking with chocolate candy every time. Yes.
Step 10: Until Next Time
Now, until next time, may the power of the cosmos be with you.Yes, yes, yes, yes!
