The Realm Of Bizarre News 20: Check Cashing Chickens
Can you believe it’s been twenty weeks since the first Dr. Ruehl?! But he keeps the magic in the air with a Harvard study, dinosaurs, chickens, and a visit to both The Little Black Medical Bag and The Vault of Strange Deaths. “Stop! Stop!” you say. “Too much bizarre news!” No! Dr. Ruehl throws in two check-cashing stories and then throws one of our old favorites around.
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Step 1:
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Bizarre News Trivia.
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Welcome once again ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls to the Realm of Bizarre News. I am your host Dr. Franklin Rule and let’s start off with a trivia question. Let me extricate here from its paper prison. The question, what is the term for a chicken lover multiple-choice inverse alphabetical order. Is that a vestiophile, staurophile, a doraphile, or an alektorophile? Now the prize the only prize for the correct answer one pat on the back that you’ll have to administer to yourself a heck of a lot better than a slap on the belly with a wet trout.
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Dinos evolved into birds.
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Now current biological thinking argues that the birds evolved from the dinosaurs, but not from flying dinosaurs such as this pterodactyl no rather from two legged predatory dinos such as t-rex. The idea is they evolved feathers such as for warmth and display but also for lift to give them an advantage when pursuing prey and ultimately they evolved into the fine feathered birds of today.
Now we have a new study from Harvard analyzing just a tiny shred of protein from the t-rex it has just 89 amino acids. They compared it to 21 living species found it compared most favorable to chickens and ostriches. Arguing for this new point that the dinos evolved into the birds and if you’re skeptical let me point out that underneath a birds feathers you have a thick skin similar to the type we believe the dinos had.
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Trivia answer:
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Now for that trivia question again what is a chicken lover is it a vestiophile, a staurophile, doraphile, or alektorophile. Is that your answer a doraphile? No it is an alektorophile. For the record, a vestiophile loves clothes, staurophile crucifixes, and doraphile?
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Now let’s see what’s in the little black medical bag boy it’s heavy and I think it’s a live. Up at a spa in Northern Israel they charge an extra $35 for snake therapy for individuals with aching joints such as arthritis patents. Six non-venomous snakes such as corn snakes slither over the person body and many are reporting pain relief. So snake therapy does work yes!
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Vault of Strange guests:
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Now let’s open up the vault of strange guests here. What do we have two crushings. The first from hidlefilm Germany a large husband got into an argument with his frail wife sat on her chest for a couple of minutes and crushed her to death. He is now in jail. Another case from Marion, Illinois a husband came in after mowing the lawn, suddenly collapsed and died of a heart attack died fell right on his wife’s right leg. She was too frail to push him off for four days she cried out in pain. Finally a news carrier and his wife noticed the papers piling up broke in and saved her life. So two husband wife crushing with two entirely different outcomes.
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Cases of checks.
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Now two cases of checks; the first a man went into a Fort Worth, Texas bank with a check claiming he was a record producer he wanted to cash it for $360 billion dollars. He was promptly arrested. Then we have another case up in Binghamton, New York a man got a water bill for $422.90 he protested it for months penalties began to accrue so he went in with a check written on toilet paper for now $2,509.66 threw it their face. You know what they did they threw it right back at him. Darn, Darn, Darn, down with toilet paper checks. Now until next time may the power of the cosmos be with you. Yes, yes, yes and down with those toilet paper checks.