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What To Do If A Friend Tells You They Are Gay
If a friend has come out to you, you're likely to have many questions, and will probably want to how you can support your friend. This film is packed with advice for the friends of gay and lesbian people, on how to deal with the news and what to do next.
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Step 1:
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Your reaction
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When a friend tells you they are gay, the first thing you should do is stay calm and supportive. Even if the news is a shock to you, getting upset is not going to be helpful to anyone.
Reassure them that you still see them as a friend
If it's a same sex friend, don't immediately assume they fancy you! (Although they might, NOW is not the time to ask)
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Step 2:
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Ask questions
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It's important that you show an interest in your friend's homosexuality. You have found out about a major part of your friend's life which was previously a secret, so it's natural that you will be curious about it.
Ask how they're getting on making gay/lesbian friends.
Ask them if they've come out to anyone else. Check whether you can discuss this information with other mutual friends or not. Your friend may want to stay in control of who knows what for now, and so it's important you don't just break their confidence in you by blabbing to all and sundry!
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Step 3:
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Your ongoing friendship
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Let your friend know that your friendship will continue regardless of whether they are gay or not. Take an interest in your friend's gay life to show them that you accept it. Offer to go to gay places with them if they would like you to. They may feel more comfortable socialising in gay spaces, and so don't always expect them to meet you for a drink in the local pub.
Often a coming out experience makes friend's even closer than before, because it can create a new level of openness and honesty in the friendship. It might also mean they're unlikely to be competing with you when you go out on the pull!
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