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What To Do If You Suspect Your Child Is Gay

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What To Do If You Suspect Your Child Is Gay

If you think you child might be gay or lesbian, you might be wondering what to do next? Should you confront your child, or wait till they bring up the subject? Our film is packed with advice for parents in this situation. If you think you child might be gay or lesbian, you might be wondering what to do next? Should you confront your child, or wait till they bring up the subject? Our film is packed with advice for parents in this situation.

Step 1: Preparing the ground

Try raising homosexuality in a general way - discuss a story in the paper or from the TV and show you have an open mind and are accepting of sexual difference, and see how your child reacts.
Acknowledge that there are some things we all have in our lives which are private and personal, but if they ever had anything they'd like to share with you, you hope you would be able to be supportive and understanding.
If you ever had anxieties when you were growing up about your own sexual identity, then it might help to share something about that, but be careful not to imply you ‘grew out' of your phase and so they will too.

Step 2: Whether to ask

It can sometimes help to ask the question directly - perhaps whether they have wondered if they might be lesbian/gay or bisexual rather than “are you gay?”.
But remember that if they say 'no' don't push the subject or be intrusive. It may be that your child is not actually gay, or maybe they are just not be ready to come out yet, and need some more time.
Talking about these issues may be difficult, particularly if you are a family who does not often discuss personal matters You child may be scared of discussing it directly, and may even try to give you clues, like leaving gay literature lying around. It could well be that your child may want you to ask them the question.

Step 3: Accept

Sometimes it can take a person a long time to accept themselves, and YOU may be more accepting of their possible homosexuality than they are.
Reassure them that your love for them is unconditional, and you only want them to be happy in life, whatever they are and whoever they love.

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Tips & Comments
  1. nhgjob

    Well hopefully you accept your teen and support him or her with their choice. Best thing to do is not judge them and educate them on what they will be dealing with and facing. But please oh please do not get angry or judge them!

  2. Yowanehaku

    My Mother calls me gay all the time, Sadly, Its not the way i wanted her to find out, She makes fun of me, Even though she thinks its a joke, I always deny it anyway. I've been a tomboy all my life, I had a big fear if females when i was younger, now im scared of people all together, My hands are kinda tied.

  3. granny1351

    my granddaughter is 13 and half years old . she is into any shows that show women kissing. or likes to dress more like a tomboy than a little girl and when I ask questions she gets mad and does not want to talk I am not wanting to offend anyone I always thought of myself as open minded . My husband of 38 yrs. is black and my daughter is married to a Mexican but when I think of my granddaughter being gay I cry. please help.She doesn't want to go to a therapist

  4. David

    Hi, Please refrain from making homophobic comments on the site. Any comments found will be deleted and users may have their accounts terminated. Thanks David @ VideoJug

  5. leevclarke

    mything, if you're a homophobe then just keep away from the LGBT threads. It's that easy, and you won't piss other people off with your bigotry too.

  6. Anonymous

    I fail to understand the need to express your sexuality to your parents. If you know for a fact your parents are not accepting people, then why bother? Exposing your sexuality is much like talking about your latest sexual partner (straight or otherwise). It's your personal life, and an area where parents have no business in judging. I assume the latest "coming out" trend is because of the media. Really, there's NO REASON you should ever have to. There's no tradition that says you should have to confront that hell "just because". So think about it before you consider "coming out". Why bother?

  7. statstj

    my paremts need to watch this.

  8. diddy524

    i have told my dad but im afraid to tell my mom

  9. Anonymous

    I wish my parents were this understanding and acceptive. I would have no problem coming out to them as a bisexual, if they weren't homophobic. :/ Maybe sooner or later they'll come to their senses.

  10. Anonymous

    my mom did this i am gay