What To Do When Your Friend Loses Their Job
Losing a job can be an emotional time, and your friend will need support. We'll show you what to do when your friend loses their job, and how best to support them - the VideoJug way.
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Step 1:
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Listen to them
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Like any major, unexpected change, losing a job can provoke a wide range of intense emotions. Your friend may need some time to talk through their situation and the feelings they're experiencing, or rant about their former employer. Take time to listen to them. Don't try to offer practical solutions at this stage. Encourage them to let off steam, and say as little as possible yourself.
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Step 2:
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Slow down
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Particularly if they have significant financial commitments, your friend may want to jump straight into the next job that will take them, even lowering their standards in order to find employment quickly. However, they've been given a golden opportunity to reassess their ambitions, so encourage them to make the most of it. If you know them well, remind them of the times they have said, “I wish I could…” They may find that with their new blank slate, they can make new steps to do the things they always wanted to.
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Step 3:
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Affirm them
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For many of us, our job helps us to define who we are, and we may find ourselves in a crisis without that defining role. You can help your friend by affirming them in their identity outside of work. Spend time enjoying mutual hobbies. This will help them to refocus and see that they can achieve outside of the workplace. Remind them of their talents and qualities – a little confidence boost can go a long way.
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Step 4:
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What do they want?
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Your friend will normally give you some clues as to how they would like you to help them. If they want to meet you in a noisy pub, then chances are they want someone to get drunk with and forget about their problems. If this is the case, offer to buy the drinks. If they want to take a solemn walk along a river, they probably want a heart to heart. Respect this and listen to what they have to say.
The kind of questions they ask you will also give you a clue as to how you can help them.
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Step 5:
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The “what” question.
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If your friend asks questions like, “what's your boss's email address?” or “what's the name of that company you worked with?” This is a sign that they are after information, which is normally the easiest kind of help a friend can give. Answer their questions as best you can, and consider these questions a green light to provide other practical help as well.
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Step 6:
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The “how” question.
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If they ask questions like, “how should I dress for this interview?”, or “how should I approach this company?”. Then they're asking for your wisdom or advice. Be flattered – this is a sign that they respect you… but also be warned, giving advice can be a difficult thing to do. Take time to consider your answer and, when you do, offer it as an opinion rather than a statement of fact. If you don't know what to advise then be honest and say so. Don't try and offer information instead, as this will just make them think you don't understand them.
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Step 7:
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The “why” question.
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If your friend is asking “why did this happen?” then they are looking for an existential conversation. You can respond with philosophy, religion or beer – but resist the temptation to offer advice or information. They'll just think you don't get it.
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Step 8:
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Help them to sell themselves
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Now your friend is back in the job market, they will need to be able to sell themselves. One of the best ways to help them is to ask them to imagine they have fifteen seconds to sell themselves to the managing director of their dream company. What would they say? This is called the elevator pitch. Thinking in this way will help them to define what exactly it is that they have to offer a company.
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Step 9:
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Practice interviews
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Interviews can be daunting experiences. Help your friend to prepare by running through some mock interview questions with them. Pretend that you are an employer and they need to convince you to hire them. Fire tricky questions at them which will make them think on their feet – but be careful not to dent their confidence or belittle them.
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Step 10:
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Recommend a recruitment firm
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A genuinely good recruitment firm can be like gold-dust to a job seeker. Ask around your own workplace to see if anyone can recommend one. If they are able to give you a specific name to contact then so much the better. Be discreet about this and keep your friend's name out of it until you've spoken to them. You might also ask about a good employment lawyer or outplacement counselling.
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Step 11:
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If you are left at work
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If you and your friend have worked for the same company, you may find yourself in a survival position – you have held on to your job while your friend has lost theirs. In this situation you should follow their lead on your friendship, as they may have mixed feelings towards you. They may need some time and space to grieve their job loss before they feel able to spend time with you socially. Initially send a text or an email to let them know you're thinking of them, but leave it a couple of weeks before suggesting that you meet. If they want to meet sooner that's fine, but it's their call. When you do meet, make sure to keep the focus on your friend. Keep any “survivor guilt” to yourself for now.
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Losing a job can be a traumatic experience, but encourage your friend to see it as an opportunity to try something new. With the help of a good friend they will be better equipped to cope with the change and move on to new challenges.
