Anonymous
130 days ago
|
You're in the friend zone. Unless SHE has the idea, you're just going to freak her out and she'll move on to the next "friend". You have to be (ahem) subtle, things guys aren't good at. Get to know her better on a personal level. Offer to give her a backrub only if she mentions her neck or back bother her; make this rare. If you can, go to dinner and order a couple glasses of wine, and then SHUT UP and let her talk. Guide the conversation into personal areas of her life... Subtlely, dummy. Again, she has to think she's guiding it. At the end, tell her you appreciate her letting you know more about her. Then, a week later, disappear. That's right, be unavailable; by phone, by text message, by Instant Messenger, especially. You want to take away the warm fuzzies you've been giving her lately, or she's TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED. You're not to be taken for granted. If you must, send her a text message or short email if she asks where you've gone, apologizing for how busy you are. This will make her curious about what you've got going on. Don't contact her again for as long as you can stand it, then, when you know she's available, casually reappear again and suggest something really low-key. Be prepared for her to play the same game and not be available. If so, don't care. She's testing you to see if you're testing her. Go on about your business until you run into her again; and start talking, without suggesting anything, then say bye! This tells her you've got things going on that are better than her, and you go way up in her eyes. The next time you see her, casually suggest something low-key again. This time she will see she may lose you for good if she isn't available. Then work your way up (not immediately) to the same intimate night where she tells you about herself. Keep repeating this until she associates being with you with warm fuzzies she's not getting elsewhere, and suddenly she will "realize" she is attracted to you. How will you know? Her attitude and the way she talks to you will change. This is when you suggest something a little more intimate, a dinner with dancing, and then when she is very relaxed, don't tell her anything. Just lean over and kiss her. If she's into you, she will respond. If she freaks out that a friend kissed her and starts interrogating you, just calmly reply "I couldn't help it, I didn't realize I was attracted to you until just then." That will make her brain start working. Then apologize casually, not pathetically, and tell her you think you two should have space for a while. You have to tell her this; it completely turns the tables on her and confuses her. You've got all the power (what girls are attracted to), not her. Your attractiivness goes up again. Then go home and make a point of going on with your life without her. She is now evaluating whether to take you out of the friend zone or not. You have proven you are man enough to kiss her without asking to, and man enoiugh to walk away without needing her. She will contact you again and probably try to put you back in the friend zone again "we can still be friends if I can trust you not to do that again". Don't accept this. Tell her you find her attractive, and maybe it's better if you're not friends for a while. Be sincere; you're being honest here, and UNAPOLOGETIC. Then go on with your life. When you see her again, casually strike up a conversation asking how she's been (you're telling her you care about her), and that you've missed her. Then shut up and watch her reaction. Suggest another get together. This is the point where you actually have a chance of getting a date; you're out of the friend zone. She'll either accept, and you'll see her low-key excitement, or she'll try to stuff you back into the friend zone again, saying "yes, but only if it's friends". If she does, apologize and tell her you can't just as friends, but if things change for her feelings, please let you know. Then walk away. And don't contact her again. Take her off your Friends list for instant messaging, or you'll fall right back into the same pattern again, and she'll know everything you've done is just a ploy. If you don't contact her, you still have a chance of hearing from her again as a date, as she knows she has nothing to lose now, as your friendship (and the warm fuzzies she misses) are gone. There are two important factors for this whole thing to work: You have to realize that being a friend with someone you want is wasting your time and life and prevening you from being with someone as a girlfriend; you have to be willing to lose the friendship. If you're not, welcome to being celibate (and eventually resentful of her) for a long time. Also, you have to have this exact same game going on with Three Other Girls; girls who you are equally interested in as much as the first one. If not, you are fixated on one interested, and that is a huge mistake. Girls are more practical. They have multiple prospects going, and they "fall in love" with the prospect that happens to work out. You need to do the same, and get rid of the notion of "the One For You". Sorry to sound so cynical. And the game sounds very cynical. However, it works. Honesty and being a gentleman did not work for me. Playing this game well
has worked for me. It's the game girls respond to (as they play their own games); they don't respond to character, honesty or being a gentleman. That makes you a Nice Guy, and a good candidate for friendship, which translates to being the guy they b***h to about their boyfriends (you're not in that situation, are you? If so, leave it immediately.) The game sucks, but girls will not change the way they respond. Remember: changing your friendship status has to be her idea, not yours. One last thing, nothing makes a guy more attractive to a girl than if you have another girl interest. You don't have to tell her about it; if they sense you're meeting other girls too, their interest goes way up. Develop another interest that is equal to this girl. Good luck.
Rating: 1 | 0
Does this help?
|
