You don't need a lawyer. You can file the papers yourself. Look into filing a Motion for Contempt.

Ultimately your husband helped create a life and the child still needs looking after and will need her dad at sometime during her life and he should do his duty and help this child and not reject her totally because of how she came about. Its not her fault and she is the one that will suffer because of this. She is a part of your husband whether he likes it or not as he made her. It is her right to know her dad, how she came about and if at all possible contact. Its not her fault.

Understand fully juicy! Iv been alone 18yrs because of it. We had 3 kids ourselves at the time. I had to throw him out, i felt i had no other option as i feared the situation wouldnt go away. It hasnt. I managed to pluck up the courage to meet the child recently for the first time as he came looking for his sibling. Very emotional. They look the same. I have only just accepted though that it isnt his fault. Difficult to say the least as husband didnt want her either and didnt go to her when i threw him out but has always had the child on his mind. It does not go away, ever. If you cant live with it you must get out. I was never able to get into another relationship again and kids left without dad, but....after 18 yrs apart.... we,re now in talks....since i had meeting without his knowledge with the "child". Its took this long to not get over it, but accept the situation. But as i said i used to only blame her, as she knew he was married, but he is more to blame as HE was with me, HE had kids, HE told her bull to get her into bed. Its the same old story everytime, but again HE cheated on me and left the family devastated and it always comes back. I can honestly say that was the worst thing i had to deal with in my life, still is and believe me i havent had it easy!!

Yes, there is always that reminder and i know it takes two to tango but ultimately is was the womans chioce to have the child knowing that full well, nobody wanted it except her, and i look forward to the day when her daughter comes knockin on my door wanting to see her 'daddy' just so i can tell her what a dirty slapper her mother is and for her part in ruining my 12 year relationship with my husband, and taking away my soul mate.... the hurt is still raw and i dont know how im manage to live with myself never trying to carry on with the marriage that wasnt even 2 year old!!!!!

You do juicy jo, but strangly enough i have been in that same position too!!! BUT it still goes without saying many men dont pay and one way or another find a way around the system. Either working off the cards or disapearing or whatever to avoid paying. We do blame the women in situations of unwanted kids due to affairs but takes two to tango and husbands were enjoying it at the time and having unprotected sex. So, now my views on that have changed as i used to only blame her but now blame him more as he was the one who had a commitment with me not her. He was the one enticing her under the covers telling allsorts, probably that he was either unhappy or single. Its took 18yrs for me to meet the child and i now acept its NOT the childs fault. That has been the hardest part to deal with, that there is "a product" a permanant lasting reminder of that affair that will never go away and will one day want to ask questions etc.

Im have to disagree with you there sarky, my husband has to pay maintenance for a child he didnt want, through the affair he had! And he didnt have a choice in the matter, and believe me, if there was any way that we didnt have to pay it, we wouldnt, why should he pay for a child that he didnt even want, and as soon as i am earning enough money, he will be giving up work just so the dirty w***e doesnt get another penny.......... ( do i sound really bitter)?

Well im from the uk and must say the child support agency is more or less non existant and such a failure that they are scrapping it! If fathers dont WANT to pay, they WONT!! More mothers DONT get paid than do. The ones that DO pay have usually co-operated in some way. Those who dont want to pay either disapear or give up work so they will never have to pay. As said, pride is the best way as the child will see for themselves that their father never took an interest in them. The wrangling over money normally causes the parents to be at war too, which then results in the child not having contact with the father. The child gets punished and this affects them far more than the mother getting her revenge and forcing him to pay a few pounds a week. Yes its hard being a single parent, those that are on state benefits get their money reduced by whatever the father gives anyway so they are no better off. To add to this the father may not pay from one month to the next which then leaves the mother in poverty or not knowing if she,s going to get any money that week or not. This is why they prefer not to claim in the first place. It is far better if you put the childs welfare first and allow them contact leaving the money issues aside as the long term effects on the child not seeing their father is far more damaging than if he does/dosent pay maintenance.

I Imagine from the below conversation that you are not from the UK, here we have child support agency which basically if you can prove that this man is the father then he has no choice but to pay maintenance otherwise the agency will take him to court to reclaim costs and the back pay on the maintenance. Not very helpful i know but thought id share it just the same.

What you can do is have pride in yourself and let him know you dont need his charity. You will get by, dont worry, but kids dont stay kids for long and they will know who put the bread on the table. They will not respect him for not supporting them. To have the love and respect you deserve is far more rewarding in the long term that stressing yourself out trying to get money from your ex. You cant get blood out of a stone.

I am in the same position, but am not remarried. He quit paying bils a year before he left, took my credit cards, and is now simply not paying ANY of the court ordered fee's or Spousal support. I've looked into free legal service and all they tell me is that I can hire a lawyer to take him back to court. A retainer averages $2500, I have nothing. The house that I 'won' in court is now in foreclosure..I'm burried. He is working feelance to 'hide' his income. What can I do???