Advanced American Business Etiquette
How can etiquette help me get to the next step or move up the ladder in business?
You won't get to the next step of the ladder in business without proper etiquette. We do have a way of ending our own careers and hitting a stalemate in a company. Leadership skills are not something that come naturally so I'm a big believer in mentorship in companies. I wish more companies implemented mentoring programs. Where else are you going to learn this stuff? By embarrassing yourself, that's how you learn. Isn't that awful that most people don't learn by doing well, they learn by mistakes. They learn by critique, they learn by criticisms, they learn by failing. There are easier ways to learn, and if you see someone who has what you want and you're willing to watch them and follow them, ask them to meet you once a month and see if they can guide you and teach you some political skills. Use your etiquette to ask them questions about things that are difficult in the workplace for you and see where that goes. It might give you a heads up and save you years of stalemating your own career.
How can etiquette help me when I've made a really bad mistake in business?
We all make bad mistakes in business. I've made them, we've all made them, and sometimes there's just no way to avoid making them. People lose money for their companies, they buy products that don't sell if they're wholesaling them, so we've all made mistakes. Therefore It's really ideal to use your etiquette to work and make sure that you have good communication with your senior executives as it's one of the problems in American business today, that no one is willing to make a decision. People are slow to make decisions today because they don't want to be the fall guy for having made that decision, so decisions today seem to be made in a group. They come from senior management, but after going through many levels. So you just have to sometime bite the bullet and admit that you've made a mistake. Everybody knows you've made a mistake and it is embarrassing, but rather than change jobs, try and create some higher levels of communication so that it doesn't happen again. If you've got a good manager or a good boss, they'll help you do that, and so your etiquette will help you when you've made a mistake in business.
What is the appropriate way to correct a mistake I've made in the workplace?
With appropriate ways to correct a mistake you've made in the workplace, you must remember the thing that no one wants in the workplace is to appear weak. That's what we are most afraid of, appearing weak, like we're not up for the challenge, or up for the charge of making another decision that might be equally wrong. There are times that we just need to realise that we don't have all the answers, and we may need to ask several people's opinion to create a consensus before we make that mistake again. I think admitting that, deciding how to handle it next time – “how about this for a game plan?” - and then talking it over, that's good etiquette to correct a business mistake, to make sure that you're in that circle of influence so that it doesn't all fall to you next time.
What impression can my responses to different situations give to colleagues and associates?
Well the workplace is really about behaviours, so your responses to different situations can give you business associates different impressions . We really reveal who we are all the time through behaviours. Not necessarily even through what we say, but through behaviours. Anger just doesn't have a place in the workplace. If there was, we'd all be losing our tempers. Indeed I've seen customer service people handle amazing abuse from customers, and they're trained very carefully how to deal with abusive customers. In call centres, you get screamed at and yelled at - it's the same with IT people. I think that there is some training that companies can do for their people, that teaches them specifically how to deal with anger, and gives employees alternatives to solve the particular solutions inherent to that particular business and culture, making sure your behaviour impresses those around you at work.
What is the point of American business etiquette?
American business etiquette isn't just about table manners. It's not about which utensils to use, rather, it's a way of being with people, so that you can create customer loyalty and employee loyalty. American business etiquette will increase productivity in the workplace, it will reduce absenteeism in the workplace. One of the biggest things that American business etiquette does, that it helps create, is the retention of employees and top talent that companies scramble for, so they can hold their corporate culture together over time. When an employee walks out, who's been with the company for many years, they walk out with their corporate history in their pocket, and to bring someone in dilutes that corporate culture, so to hang on to key talent I think is very important for companies. And again people leave because they don't like their boss, so American business etiquette is as important for senior executives as it is for someone who's coming up in the ranks, or is a new employee, or is just out of college and it makes it difficult for them to learn.
What are your top five American business etiquette tips?
With my top five American business etiquette tips, I think the most important tip I could give anybody is to listen. I think people are starving from loneliness, but you don't have to listen to prattle or babble, but rather listen and be respectful of people. I think that's the most important thing. The second thing is to self forget. Coming out of the 80s and the 'Me' generation, we all needed to express our individuality, but it's not important. To make other people comfortable is more important, so they feel safe. So I'd say that self forgetting and focusing on others is a huge American business etiquette gift that you give to people. Try treating all people the same! I treat all people the same, whether it's the CEO of a major Fortune-100 company, or it's my bookkeeper. I treat all people with dignity and respect, no better, and no worse. I treat all people from all faiths, religions and age, with dignity and respect. Therefore I think that the golden rule for 21st century American business etiquette is this: Treat other people as they would like to be treated. This sounds like a spin on the Golden Rule, and indeed it's not the opposite of the Golden Rule. But if everybody treated me like a middle-aged woman who was originally from Texas, we wouldn't get anything done. I just want to treat people like they want to be treated, with their level of dignity, and what they would feel comfortable doing. I think that's the greatest tip I could give anybody. The next one would be to be pleasant. People who are grumpy, slouchy, frumpy and don't take care of their health, show up in the workplace. People who don't respect their own body and their own temple, and really look slovenly and don't care what you think, create a breach of business etiquette. To just look groomed in the workplace I think is important for all people, and to create good hygiene in the workplace, and listen to people and treat them with respect. I also think technology business etiquette is important, because if I'm a real charming person, and I show up, and I'm kind to you and everybody in the room, and I treat people with respect, dignity, compassion and all those good things, that is business etiquette, and then I go home and I send you a barrage of emails and dirty jokes, and put you on spam lists, and I don't return your telephone calls, what does that make me look like? And the answer is, a superficial charmer that's just a glad hander. And I think unless we learn to balance our technology skills with our personality and etiquette skills, that lack of congruency is going to make you look less than professional. So I think business etiquette and technology business etiquette is vital to success in the workplace.
What simple breach of etiquette do you see frequently in American business?
The simple breach of etiquette that I see often in American business is when you thank someone for doing something for you, whether it's in the grocery store or in the office, and their response is "no problem". I cant think of anything that upsets me more, that is my soapbox. It demeans me for ever having given them a compliment, and I understand where it comes from, it's no problem that you did this kind of thing for me, but instead of saying, "no problem", just say "thank you". So for anyone that's listening, I want you to take that two word phrase out of your vocabulary. Use "no problem" never again, never even once, and don't let it cross your lips. That is my pet etiquette peeve in American business.
What is an absolutely unacceptable breach of ettiquette in American business?
An absolutely unacceptable etiquette breach in American business concerns the fact that I think everyone likes to be recognized and acknowledged - not for greatness, or intelligence, or power, or money, but to be acknowledged as a human being. Therefore to ignore someone is unacceptable. Whether it's in a business meeting or to cut someone out, I think it is an unacceptable etiquette breach in American business. We're talking about the work place, we're talking about a place where people are, where they have been hired to share whatever gift it is you have. But to demean and isolate people in the workplace, I think is an unacceptable etiquette breach. We all don't look the same, we're all from different nationalities and cultures, we all worship and have different sexual orientations, we're all different ages, but treat people with dignity and respect regardless of what and who they are.
