Approaching Men
What's the key to approaching men?
I tell my clients that it's best to encourage the man to approach you. Use open body language, although men are not always that good at reading signs. So, be happy, be friendly, make eye contact, and encourage them to come over. Invite them with your eyes. Then, if they don't make a move, you can scoot a little bit down, get a little bit closer to them on the bar, or ask them a question about whatever they're doing. Asking them a question about themselves really opens things up and makes the man feel comfortable about talking to you
How do I know if a man wants me to approach him?
Men are not that subtle. You'll know if a man wants you to approach him by his body language, by how he looks at you. Give it a crack. If you want to approach this guy and he seems interesting to you, go up to him. A man will always be flattered by that. You have nothing to lose.
What effect does locale have when approaching men?
If you're going to approach a man, where you are can dictate how you're going to approach him. It's nice to have something other than just the two of you. If you're at a market, you can ask a question about something. If you're at the dog park, it's easy. You can talk about their dog. Most likely, somebody will approach you. The cuter the dog, the better. Also, ugly is very cute. Several of my clients have had a lot of success at dog parks. Actually, one of them met someone from a major television show recently, and things are going very well.
How do I psych myself up to approach a man?
You can psych yourself up to approach a man by breathing first. Never forget to breathe. It's very important. Have a shot of tequila and go for it! If tequila's not your thing, try vodka. But seriously, it's all about confidence and how you hold yourself. Take a deep breath and know you're just meeting a person. There is nothing to be intimidated about. Just go up and introduce yourself and see what happens.
What do I do if I'm intimidated by men?
If you're intimidated by men, what you need to do is practice. Talk to your male friends, talk to you brother, talk to your father, and go to men's stores. This is the time where bars are a good thing. At bars, you have lots of opportunities to meet different people, to be around different people, to approach people and to get comfortable. It really is just practice.
What's the best way to stand out in a crowd?
If you want to stand out in the crowd, be happy and enjoy yourself. Also, when you're going out, think about wearing something that makes you feel good. Even if it's a little pin in your hair, a purse that you love that people can talk to you about, your favorite dress jeans, or shoes, wear whatever it is that makes you feel good and says something special about who you are.
Should I approach a man if he's with male friends?
I would never recommend approaching a man when he's with his friends. When he's with his friends, he's in the “man bubble.” He's having a good time on his own. He's not looking to meet someone if he's with a group. It's much better to approach someone when they're on their own.
How should I approach a man if he's with female friends?
It's much easier to approach a man with a group of female friends because you can approach one of the woman. Once you get into that crowd, you compliment someone on their dress or earrings or something. You warm them up and the man will naturally be interested in who you are.
Should I use pick-up lines to approach a man?
Generally, I'm not in favor of using pick-up lines to approach a man, but if you have the personality and the sense of humor, go for it! I have a friend who went up to a man in a bar and asked if she could have his straw because she had a collection. They had a really great laugh and they're still talking to this day; I think it's ten years later!
