Approaching Men

What's the key to approaching men?

I tell my clients that it's best to encourage the man to approach you. Use open body language, although men are not always that good at reading signs. So, be happy, be friendly, make eye contact, and encourage them to come over. Invite them with your eyes. Then, if they don't make a move, you can scoot a little bit down, get a little bit closer to them on the bar, or ask them a question about whatever they're doing. Asking them a question about themselves really opens things up and makes the man feel comfortable about talking to you

What effect does locale have when approaching men?

If you're going to approach a man, where you are can dictate how you're going to approach him. It's nice to have something other than just the two of you. If you're at a market, you can ask a question about something. If you're at the dog park, it's easy. You can talk about their dog. Most likely, somebody will approach you. The cuter the dog, the better. Also, ugly is very cute. Several of my clients have had a lot of success at dog parks. Actually, one of them met someone from a major television show recently, and things are going very well.

What do I do if I'm intimidated by men?

If you're intimidated by men, what you need to do is practice. Talk to your male friends, talk to you brother, talk to your father, and go to men's stores. This is the time where bars are a good thing. At bars, you have lots of opportunities to meet different people, to be around different people, to approach people and to get comfortable. It really is just practice.

Should I approach a man if he's with male friends?

I would never recommend approaching a man when he's with his friends. When he's with his friends, he's in the “man bubble.” He's having a good time on his own. He's not looking to meet someone if he's with a group. It's much better to approach someone when they're on their own.

Should I use pick-up lines to approach a man?

Generally, I'm not in favor of using pick-up lines to approach a man, but if you have the personality and the sense of humor, go for it! I have a friend who went up to a man in a bar and asked if she could have his straw because she had a collection. They had a really great laugh and they're still talking to this day; I think it's ten years later!