Babies: Development

What age is regarded as being a baby?

The usual age for being considered as a baby is not more than one, because the baby becomes independent and starts to do things. In the first three months from its birth, that is in the infant stage, it is dependent. After that, it is independent.

What should I do to stimulate my baby's development?

The most important thing when you have a baby is to communicate with them, and that may seem odd to parents, because how can you communicate with a small baby? You must talk to them from the start, leave a little space for them to communicate back to you by waving their arms, making eye contact, and lots of love and affection. There's actually evidence and research that cuddles and lots of close physical contact help baby's brains to grow. So those are the important ways that parents can get started. And not to worry about it, because most parents do those things by instinct with their babies.

Can a baby receive too much stimulation?

Babies are born with their own very individual personalities. Once parents have more than one child they realize this, and it's quite a shock to them. Some babies are very sensitive, and they really find life outside of the womb quite hard. They don't like bright lights. They don't like loud noises. Those sorts of babies can be overstimulated, and they'll let you know they've had enough. They'll be screwing their eyes up, turning their heads away, and when you see that is the time to put your baby down to rest and sleep. It's really that learning process taking the cues from your baby, and yes, you can overstimulate.

What is bonding?

I like to think of bonding as the process where you fall in love with your baby, and lots of parents worry about it if they don't feel that love straight away. It doesn't necessarily happen instantly the minute you have your baby, particularly if someone's had a casarean or a very long labor or they're just feeling a little bit down from the birth. It can take weeks rather than seconds, but it is that gradual process where your baby becomes dependent on you and you feel love from your baby. That's the best way of describing it.

At what age will my baby and I start bonding?

You can in fact start the bonding process before your baby is even born. Talking to your baby inside, playing them music, that sort of thing. Some parents find it's love at first sight. They really do just immediately love their babies. Lots don't, and that's okay too. It can take weeks or months for that love to grow, particularly if you've had a very difficult labor or caesarian or your baby's in special care. But all those situations are alright as long as that love is growing.

How does bonding happen?

Your bonding and love for your baby grows through looking after the baby, through all the simple, everyday tasks like changing nappies, singing nursery rhymes, just caring for your baby and communicating with them. Moms and dads can both be equally involved in that way.

What is attachment?

Attachment is a word that psychologists use for the process when a baby has really gotten to know you as their main caregiver, and you have really gotten to know your baby through this bonding process. It's an interesting idea, because it's not only about the baby being attached to you, literally thinking you're the most important person in their world, but it's also about giving them the security to try and get independence and to start exploring the world. It's not only about thinking about your baby as very attached to you, but feeling attached in the way that they're happy to explore.

What is separation anxiety?

Once your babies have a chance to get to know you and understand that you're the most important person in their lives, which usually takes about six months, then they can begin to get a little bit suspicious of strangers. Somewhere between seven and eight months, they can start to seem quite shy. You can hand little, small babies to almost anybody and they go to them happily, but they begin to be much more wary of strangers and the people they don't know. The difficulty is that that can actually extend to grandparents that they have not seen in a while, or the dad if he is out at work all day. They can become very clingy with the main person caring for them and very anxious when they are separated from that person.

At what age do babies start to get a personality?

There's a lot of evidence from research that babies arrive absolutely newborn already with personalities. With their very individual temperaments, and in fact, lots of experiments have been done to look at how babies, how reactive they are to lights and sirens, how much they move around, how easily they'll go to other people. Those differences are there from birth, so that babies can be classified from birth as either difficult, easy babies, more challenging babies, babies that are slow to warm up. And those things are really there from very early days, and can be demonstrated from birth.

At what age should I start reading my baby books?

Lots of parents might think you couldn't possibly read to a small baby. But, in fact, experts say you should read babies books right from the beginning. You get lots of lovely little soft books that your baby can chew and play with. It's not because they're understanding the story, they just like the sound of your voice, and they like the contact with you. It's just one fun way of actually doing that. When parents are maybe not sure what to say to the baby, they can just read them a little rhyme or a story from a book. But it's never too early to start that. You can do that from very early days when your baby's awake and alert, not when they're falling asleep and not interested. But certainly when they're awake and alert.