Basic Dating Terms

Basic Dating Terms

Lillian Glass (Communication Psychologist) gives expert video advice on: Is it possible to have more than one soulmate?; How do I decide if I want to date casually or seriously?; How can I make better decisions about whom I date? and more...

What is "dating"?

Dating is basically auditioning somebody to see if they're going to be in your life; to see there's going to be a relationship. It's taking another person out, finding out about them in all different kinds of environments, and seeing if they're compatible with you.

What is "hooking up"?

Hooking up is a term that is used to describe a sexual encounter. There's not a lot of commitment there, it's just two people getting together for sex.

What is the difference between a "casual" and a "serious" romantic relationship?

There is a difference between a casual and a serious relationship. In a casual relationship, you don't take things that seriously. You go places, you have a good time, but there are no expectations. In a serious relationship, there are expectations. There are certain ways of conduct that are very important. For instance, in a serious relationship you can't date other people and you have to be more reliable and responsible, whereas in a casual relationship, it doesn't really matter; you're free.

What is a "soul mate"?

A soul mate is that very, very special person that has touched your soul, literally, that you communicate with on such a different level: a spiritual level, an emotional level, a physical level, a mental level. It's somebody that is just there for you.

Is it possible to have more than one soulmate?

I do believe that it's possible to have more than one soulmate, because there are many souls and there are many mates! I think that, depending on where you are in your life, you can attract somebody who's just right for you at that point in your life.

What is meant by the term "player"?

A player or "play-ah" is somebody who's out there to attract a lot of people and to see how many people are attracted to them. That player is somebody who's not very serious about romantic relationships. If you're involved with a player and you think you're exclusive, you're probably wrong.

What does the phrase "friends with benefits" mean?

"Friends with benefits" is a term that's gotten a lot of popularity lately. It's a term that says you have a good friend, you're connected, but there are some benefits - and they oftentimes include sexual benefits.

What is "Internet" or "online" dating?

Internet dating or online dating is when you go to a site on the Internet that's specifically for finding a mate, finding a date. You look at the list of people that they have, look at different qualifications that you are interested, and you then choose someone based on their photograph, what they've said, their location, and you then contact them through this site. If they're interested they will contact you as well. They will return your e-mail response, and they will either connect or not connect with you. You will find through the e-mailing back and forth that you have nothing in common or there is no chemistry, or you may find during the phone call, which is the next step, that there is no chemistry. Or there is some chemistry. Then you will arrange a date. It all starts from online and internet dating.

What is "speed dating"?

Speed dating is an organized system of dating whereby a person sits at a table with numerous individual people at different times, let's say 5 minute intervals. In that period of time each person can write down whether or not they like all of the suitors they received or visited. The whole room is filled with many people sitting at tables, with many suitors visiting the different tables and meeting the different people. So by the end of the evening of speed dating, everyone's met everyone else, and each person will know who they have some connection with. Afterwards, each person finds that person or people they were attracted to, and there is an exchange of phone numbers. Speed dating is another quick ("speed") and easy way of dating.