Bullying Defined
What is bullying?
Bullying is when somebody is made to feel uncomfortable, unhappy, desperate, because of the acts of others. It can be verbal, it can be name calling, it can be physical, it can be taking somebody's lunch money if it's at school. All bullying is wrong. It's usually a gang bullying one person or two people, and in the most extreme cases it can lead to children feeling desperate enough to consider taking their own lives.
How do I know if I am being bullied?
If you're worried about going somewhere or seeing various people because of the effect they have on you, because they're calling you names or hitting you or making you do stuff you don't like, then you are being bullied.
I am being bullied, what do I do?
It's very important that you tell somebody. Bullying can get out of hand, and it's about the way that it's making you feel. It might, for example, make you feel like you don't want to go to school or go to a particular club. So, tell somebody you trust. If it's at school, as a lot of bullying is, you could tell your form tutor if you have a particular liking for them, or tell your head of year. It is important you tell somebody.
I am being bullied by a grown up what do I do?
It's very important that you tell somebody and that you tell somebody that you trust, preferably another grown up. You can also tell Child Line and we can give you some ongoing support. But it's very wrong for grown ups to bully children.
I being bullied by a member of my family what do I do?
All bullying is wrong. It depends how you get on with your parents and the people you live with. They would be the first people that you might want to talk, because it's happening in your house. You can call a chat line and talk about how it's making you feel, and we can probably give you some support to get through this.
I'm being bullied by email and text. What should I do?
If possible, keep those texts and either print off or keep the e-mails because when you're being bullied it's really important to keep a record. Most bullies won't keep a diary of "today I picked on so and so", but if you keep a diary, when you do tell somebody, you've got a lot of evidence. So that's really a important thing. And the other important thing is to talk about it because bullying can make you feel desperate, and very unhappy. It can make you not want to go to school or not go to various places, so it's really important that you share the fact you're being bullied with somebody that you trust.
I'm being bullied at work What do I do?
Bullying at work is very common, and if you haven't dealt with bullying when you were at school, then you won't have the coping strategies to deal with it when you get to the work place. The important thing is to tell somebody, and to keep a diary of everything that happens. It may be that your boss is bullying you, and therefore you could go to the HR department who can support you with it. Bullying, in any environment, is wrong and it's important that you get the help you need.
Should I leave work or school because I'm being bullied?
It shouldn't be necessary for you to leave school or work. The school has a responsibility to keep you safe. So, if you tell them you're being bullied, they should take the necessary steps to deal with it. Either to talk to the bullies or to ask you what you want to happen, because bullying is about control, and you have not got control. So it's important when you report it, that people give you the chance to have an input into how it's dealt with. You shouldn't leave work, either. There are processes that you can go through such as you can talk to your HR department. Again, you should be protected.
I'm afraid to speak up What can I do?
That's very common. Bullying can make you afraid, especially if it comes with threats. It's not good for your self-esteem if you're being called names, being made to feel different or inadequate. The important thing to remember is bullying is wrong. If you speak to people you trust, hopefully the bullying will stop.
What will happen to the bully after I have told someone?
That's a very difficult to answer, because every case would be different. Hopefully what would be happening is that they would be spoken to. They maybe would realize the effect they're having on another human being, and would stop their behavior. But it's not always that simple. They may well get into trouble, but bullies know what they're doing. They know it's wrong. It's usually quite cowardly because it's not bullies on their own, it's usually a group of people. So if they do bully, then they should be ready to take the punishment.
Why do people become bullies?
Sometimes they become bullies because they are bullied. It may well be that they are bullied in their own home, and then they bully what they see as the next person down their pecking order. It can often be a younger child or an animal. Some people bully animals and are unkind to animals. It is usually about, somebody feeling that they are being bullied and wanting to copy that on somebody else.
I know someone that is being bullied what should I do?
Your friendship and your support is one of the most important things you can do. Encourage them to ring an organization like Childline where they can talk in confidence about what's happening and where they'll be advised to keep a diary of all the incidents. That has two good effects. It's evidence, but also if you write down negative things that have happened to you it helps you to debrief them and get rid of them.
Why are they picking on me?
The bullies might not even know why they are picking on you. It may be that you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Bullying is a bit like a habit, once you've called somebody a name, when you see them again, bullies often call people names but then don't remember why they originally picked on them. It could be that they are envious of you. A lot of very bright young people who are good at exams and good at lessons are considered swats to bullies. It is important for whatever reason you are being bullied that you share that fact and you talk about it.
I'm a bully and I want to stop how can I change?
That statement: "I'm a bully, I want to stop" is a very powerful one and deserves a lot of respect. Basically, if you want to change, you have to think about your behaviour and think about the results of your behaviour on other people. Maybe you could start by talking to the people you've been bullying and say "sorry", and perhaps they may end up your friends.
