Cancer: Family And Friends
What is the best way to support a loved one who has cancer?
In terms of how to support a patient with cancer, I think, most important is the psychological support that you can provide. Families, children can provide to their patients. I think the most disheartening thing that I have ever seen as a practicing oncologist, is a patient coming to see me for a new diagnosis of cancer by themselves and it's really hard to see, because in terms of deciding a plan of carrying, a plan of action, you really need the support. They need someone to take them to their first chemotherapy in the future, they need someone to sit with them, they need someone to come to their doctor visits every time. These are people with cancer who require a significant amount of support and a patient can be the strongest person know to man, but, this is a diagnosis and this is a course of treatment whether it be an ongoing indefinite course of therapy. For a 6 month course of therapy or a surgery this is a tough part of their life and the psychological support is extremely important.
What can I say to someone with cancer?
What should I tell someone? What's the best way to support someone is to be there for them. They don't have to say anything. I think nonverbal support is probably the best thing that you can provide. No one needs to hear that they're going to be fine. That's not the best thing to provide patients. I think you need to provide patients a shoulder to cry on. You need to provide their friend a shoulder to cry on. You need to provide them the silent support of knowing that you're around or you're going to be there for them when they need them.
Why is it important for a cancer patient to stay positive?
When patients are positive and patients are optimistic, they tend to tolerate their therapy better. They tolerate their therapy well. They have less side effects, chemo-related side effects or treatment-related side effects, and they ultimately do better in my opinion. It doesn't mean that you have to stick your head in the sand and pretend that no matter what disease you have been diagnosed with you are going to be fine. That may not necessarily be the truth. But I describe it as optimistic realism and you need to know as my patient. Any of my patients out there know that you know what you are up against the second you come into my office. But just because you know what you are up against doesn't mean that you can't go at it and empower yourself to be positive and go through the treatment with a degree of positivity and optimism that will definitely be best for you.
How do I tell my loved ones to stop 'playing doctor' with my cancer treatment?
I would say that you're under the care of a trained physician treating cancer and I trust my physician and thank you very much for your concern and I appreciate all your efforts in trying to come up with other ideas for my and I will bring those up with my physician as time permits. I refer patients to a website that was designed by the American Society of Clinical Oncology namely People Living with Cancer. Org. so it's www.plwc.org which has an excellent resource for general information about a malignancy, support,as well as bulletin boards and the ability for patients to contact other patients with their disease. More education based internet resources include the American Cancer Society and the National Institute of Health as well as the Cancer Network as well as the National Comprehensive Cancer Network guidelines which have a very excellent, patient-sponsored, and patient-centric website for patients with cancer and disease.