Celebutante: Nicole Richie
Do you think Nicole is a good mom?
Nicole Ritchie's trying to change her whole image; it's because last year she was a heroin addict that drove on the wrong side of the road, but in 2008 she's a mother. Mmm-hmm, and a good mom, not a cool mom, a good mom. She's not yet anorexic again, which is great, she looks actually very good, and you have to admit that when Nicole hired her stylist and became a celebutant, she looked great. She took it a little far and got a little emaciated, but look at her on the first season of the Simple Life, her hair was stringy, she was arguably chubby, she was a mess. She paid a hundred thousand dollars for a great stylist who got her addicted to cocaine and got her a great look; she looks great, Totally, and now she's trying to change her image for a heroin junky to a beautiful mother who gives her presence away. Yes! She wants to be Reese Witherspoone, but the reality is she never will. If she does this role on Broadway for Chicago, if that's not a lie and she takes the role and she hits it out of the park, because you don't have to be that good to be on Broadway, let's get real. You just have to be famous. Famous people on Broadway are not that good, okay. I just heard Mario Lopez got a part on Chorus Line. And he doesn't have to dance, he has to act. So, if she can get this role on Broadway and reinvent herself, then she really is a talent, but I'm telling you right now, these celebutants are only celebutants. Which is sad, because once you're a celebutant, you're always a celebutant. Tear-drop! Mmm-hmm. It's like when all those supermodels thought they could be actresses, and then they... Or restaurateurs and open up restaurants, I love fashion cafe, hello 1989.
Do you think Nicole will stay with her rocker man?
Ali: I think it's surprising that Nicole Ritchie never married her Baby Daddy--Joel Madden--and nobody cared. Warren: Well, do we really expect much from an ex heroin junkie who drives the wrong way on vicodins on the freeway? I mean, we would like them to get married, just because it makes a cuter story, but what they're doing is they're strategically planning all of their lives' events. You know, you could have the wedding and get tons of press, but "let's have the kid first because I'm already pregnant. Then what we'll do is we'll get married, it'll be a huge cover for US Weekly and we'll make hundreds of thousands of dollars, and then we'll have another kid." Ali: Totally. Warren: And all of these are the equivalent of their new movie. They don't do anything, they don't put out albums, they don't make movies; what they do is they have huge publicity events. Ali: It's an event in their lives. Warren: They get married, they have children, they get arrested, they get DUI's--all of these things are the equivalent to a movie role, to an album, to their next big thing. Ali: Yeah, because they don't have to do anything as long as we're paying attention to what they're doing in their daily life. They don't have to produce any material. Warren: Yeah, because $250,000 for an US Weekly cover and an exclusive of your children's' pictures is the equivalent to, you know, a C-list actor's rate on a movie. Ali: Totally! She got $1 Million for her baby pictures, she'll probably get $2 million for the exclusive coverage of her wedding to Joel, and then oh my god when they get divorced, she'll give her exclusive story to US Weekly for a million dollars. Warren: Mmmhmm and right there, that's huge rates--that's a lot of money. And they know what they're doing. Nicole's been around for a while. She's able, and now she's clear-headed (allegedly) so now she's able to more manipulate the press and make the money. Ali: Yeah, I think you have a really good point, they don't have to do anything. The moments in these people's lives are what we're tuning in for. Warren: Yes, literally. That's they're big movie, that's their Oscar, that's their Emmy.
