Celebutante: Paris Hilton

Why is Paris Hilton a celebutante?

Paris Hilton is not a celebutante. She is the celebutante – easy. She is our pinnacle, our goddess, of famous for being nothing. She is famous because she is rich and that is why we love her. When she went to prison that was like a lifetime made for TV movie. That was like her Oscar, like that was so huge. She could have released any movie, any album - she would have never got this much press - then when she went to jail. And in ten years when she is a nobody and they have the lifetime original movie, Paris Hilton – Life of an Heiress, that will be the pinnacle and then after that no-one cares.Yeah and let's get real, lets give Paris props – she did make going to jail cool. Robert Downey tried to do it – didn't really take off. Paris did it – everyone is doing it. Everyone wants to go to jail now. I mean I have an appointment later for a DUI because I don't want to go straight to jail. You only have to go for eighty-two hours. No eighty-two minutes - if you are called Nicole Ritche. Just in and out.Yeah, their attention span are eighty – they should be like “Am I outside?”, “What is this place?”, “Where are the Cameras?”. "I do illegal things all the time and there are no cameras"."Yeah I know I was just doing my hair and nobody filmed me! Nobody? God! Where is Kate?"

How did Paris even become famous in the first place?

Kathy Hilton as a very young girl was always moulded to be a celebrity herself. Her mother wanted her to be very powerful, marry a very rich man. She did half of it. She did marry a very rich man, but unfortunately she never did quite reach that fame. She modelled. She dabbled. Nothing really quite took off. So her one hope was Paris. Not so much Nicky because Nicky had talent. She is a designer. Paris really did not have talent. But she was a beautiful and very thing girl and jewellery looks great on her. So Kathy was like let us make my daughter famous. I am going too live through her. They grew up in New York City. Kathy Hilton was constantly having parties. She promoted Paris via these parties. Her publicist would invite celebrities to meet Paris. Paris would be photographed with these celebrities. And then Paris started going out in the New York fashion scene. She started going out in the New York party scene. She became very famous in New York. But fame in New York can only take you so far. You need Hollywood. So she ran her off to Hollywood and that is when Paris took off is when she got to Hollywood and she was being celebrated. She ran around Hollywood and she was being celebrated and nobody knew quite who she was, but we knew she was rich and we knew she was fabulous and we knew she could go anywhere we could not go. And we wanted that. And then Beauna-Murray, a production company took her on, started The Simple Life and that is when she blew up is when she was featured on E for the Simple Life reality show.

What do you think of Paris post prison?

Paris post-prison promised to be a giver, an adviser to the world, a philanthropist, totally share herself. But she ended up just stepping a little bit out of the limelight really and saying she was going to go to Africa for a volunteer trip and then not going because she did not have enough Louis Vuitton trunks. There was no reason. They could not take her at that time. They are in Africa, so I do not know what they are doing. So she promised to go to Africa and do all this philanthropist work and she did not. She failed us. We wanted her to reinvent herself as more of a giver, as more of a Princess Diana, but she fell back into her old ways. She parties. Paris is drunk now, and she is back to what she does best. Being seen at places and getting paid. The only thing that has changed about Paris post-prison is her publicist, and she does not wear blue contacts anymore. That is it. Well, I saw her with the blue contacts, I did.

What do you think Paris will become in 10 years?

Oh my god, do you know who Joan Rivers is, because that's Paris Hilton ten years ago. Oh no way. Paris will do good. Paris in ten years, let's just push forward hop in a time machine, we open the door, Oh my god it's Suzanne Sommers! She's going to be on QVC selling her perfume, selling her bags. And crying on TV because one of her Malibu homes was burned down. That's Paris Hilton in ten years. What am I going to do with my five million dollars in insurance money? What am I going to do? God!