Child Communication Basics
What is "communication"?
When people are truly communicating then there is a tone of respect in the communication. That is a true communication, When people are not communicating well, there is a tone of disrespect. If you want to build co-operation in your relationships - in any relationship - especially with children, there has the be respect. And I teach people that the communication of "I'm talking now and you're listening" and then vice-versa when we trade, is that there is a listening component to what is - I call it receptively listening - to what the person is saying to you. And when you're communicating, instead of commands and questions, if you're communicating in statement sentences, you're going to be clear because a statement is a fact. A fact is the truth. It's very hard to argue with the truth, isn't it? So, if in your basic communication you're telling the truth and you do that with statements then you're going to be understood - you will be clear. Especially with your children. You do this in your adult life all the time; use that same technique with your children. You listen to them and they listen to you. You use statement sentences with them and they use statement sentences back and that way you're going to be solving problems together.
How does my communication affect my child?
One of the curious things about communication is that we attract what we project. And if I wake up on the wrong side of the bed one day and I'm irritable and I start treating my children with this irritation, communicating this irritation, guess what I get back from them? You attract what you project. And pretty soon you're in power struggles and you can't get out the door on time, and they won't eat their breakfast, and it's one thing after another. But if I wake up cheerful and happy, I communicate cheerful and happy, so I attract cheerful and happy. What a lot of parents don't realize is that their moods are communicated to children, children are like sponges and they will gravitate to whatever mood you're putting out there. So if a parent primarily is disrespectful of children guess what? You will have very disrespectful children back. You attract what you project, so the outcome is very much determined by your behaviour.
How do I communicate with my baby that can't talk?
In terms of communicating with a baby, we know that communication can be achieved through being attentive, having eye contact, affectionate touching, making sure that the child is taken care of by way of being kept clean in bed and an appropriate hazard routine, and so on. Making sure that a child's needs are being met in a consistent way is going to do an awful lot towards that child's being attached to the caretaker.
How do I communicate with my toddler who is just learning to talk?
With child communications, when children become toddlers and are just learning to talk it's important to communicate with them using language the child can understand, whilst using a lot of language in the process. If you've ever had the experience of learning a foreign language, you know that before you can be fluent in that language, you could understand a lot of what people were saying, this is true for little children and toddlers. Before little children and toddlers are able to be really articulate with their language, they are really understanding the language. So, when you're changing diapers or you're feeding them, or some other, there should be this ongoing communication that is going back and forth with the child.
Should my style of communicating change as my child develops?
When parents learn this philosophy, it works as much for a newborn as for a 99 year old person. It really isn't about using a different style of communication with a child as they get older. It's a style of communicating that is respectful, that is clean and neat, and it works. It works wherever you use that particular of communication methodology. Respect always works and receptive listening always works. Statements, sentences, the truth, the facts always work. And it is regardless of the age of the child or the person.
What are the steps to improve my listening skills?
There are three steps to improving listening skills, learning how to receptively listen and they are unbelievably easy; I suggest you write them down. What is the person feeling, about what and why. You're upset about your toy being broken because it was your favourite toy. One, two, three. So easy to improve listening skills. You're excited about your scholarship to dance camp because you worked really hard to get it, right? One, two, three. Easy. Do it; improve your listening skills today.
