Child Communication: Issues

Why is it important not to ask my child questions when he is misbehaving?

Asking a child who is misbehaving questions hands the power over to the child, and let the dance begin. This is permissive parenting, where the child is now in charge of the parent. And the parents say, "Well, don't you think you ought to do this, and don't you..." And the misbehaving child has all the power in the situation. If parents could learn not to ask a misbehaving child questions, amazing things would happen, which is: "I don't understand why you have this D on your report card." That cuts all that out. It cuts all the dancing out. Now the child has to come up with a response. "Well, I don't know." That's going to be a typical response. So this is a technique that is very valuable. "Yes, I understand you don't know right now. Nevertheless, you do need to figure it out. Let's take five minutes and we'll come back together and I want to hear what you think is the reason."

What are common communication mistakes between parents and children?

Common mistakes parents make when communicating with their children is, one, being disrespectful. Two, using questions in a disipline situation. I'm not saying in ordinary life don't ask questions, that's not what it is. Its in a disipline situation where a child has done something that's not appropriate and you need to teach the child, you need to solve a problem, then don't use questions. That's what I'm saying, and listen.