Choosing A Potential Roommate
What questions can I ask to screen out bad potential roommates?
I have a list of 25 questions that I ask. Some of them seem a little strange - regarding politics, religion, and finances. You need to know the attitude of your potential roommate about all these things. If they're really ultra-conservative and you are liberal, then that might cause problems. If they're really loose with their money - they're bouncing cheques all over the place, and they tell you that in the conversation - well, one of the cheques might be the one they give you. Are they very religious, and they always want to try save you? These are red flags - philosophical differences are the real deal-breakers. With regard to cleanliness, you can live with somebody who is leaving hair in the sink, but if they get up every single morning and say I have to save you from satan, then that might be a problem.
Once I've interviewed a few prospective roommates, what is the next step?
Let's say you have narrowed it down to five people that you are really interested in. That is when you start getting into the details, asking questions like "Do you make your bed every morning?" or "Do you leave your clothes in the bathroom?" or "How long do you take to put on your makeup in the morning and use the bathroom?" Remember, you're sharing the bathroom - somebody else is waiting. You can then start getting really specific. Again, your personality is playing into this. Their personality is playing into this. Do you think you can live with this person? That is the main thing. Do you think you can live with this person 24 hours a day, 365 days out of the year? That's what it comes down to.
Can I expect to become friends with my new roommate?
Should you become friends with your new roommate? Hopefully yes! You started out, remember, as a business deal. I can honestly say that 98% of my roommates became really, really good friends. My Christmas card list is totally ridiculous. That's not to say that you're going to be a really good friend to all of them - some people are very private, and they don't give out a lot about themselves - that's okay. With others, you're going to become really close friends with. You'll go out with them, go to movies together, go shopping together. Others will stick to their room and do their studying and whatever. It really depends on the person themselves.
Should I consider living with the opposite sex?
Living with the opposite sex? Why not! Again, we're talking compatibility - just because he's a guy, doesn't mean you're not going to get along. Some of my best roommates were men, so it depends on the person. It depends, it could be homosexual, lesbian, male, female, it doesn't matter. In fact, it's an adventure. Having a roommate is an adventure - look at it as an adventure. I don't have males anymore because we share a bathroom and it raises less conflicts. At one time, I had males and females sharing a bathroom, and that's where the conflicts came in, and that is why I only have women roommates now. I think the conflict was funny - the guy was very picky, we're talking Mr. Clean, and the roommate he was sharing the bathroom with was not Ms. Clean, so it created a lot of problems.
Should age play a factor in my roommate search?
I haven't found that age plays a factor. I have had some very young, very mature people - stable, responsible, respectful - and I've had some older ones in their fifties that were the absolute pits. They were totally irresponsble financially, disrespectful of my property. No, I don't think age has anything to do with it, I really don't.
Can I expect to find a perfect roommate match?
There's no such thing as the perfect roommate - none of us are perfect, so that's impossible. When we get married, our husbands aren't perfect, and we'd love them to be, and think we're going to change them and make them perfect, but it's never going to happen. Roommates are the same, they're people. We all have baggage, we all have little twirks and quirks - there's no such thing as a perfect roommate. I love having roommates, but I understand from the very beginning that that's one of the first things that you need to understand - that nobody's perfect, and that nobody's going to match everything you want - it's impossible!
What are the most important personality traits a roommate should have?
That's a good question, because it depends on what you want. It depends on you. I want someone that's friendly, and that is open-minded. That's really important - being open-minded. If you come with prejudices, I don't want you here, I really don't. Having roommates is always a learning experience, and everybody is different. To say a specific personality trait - they have to be respectful, they have to honor what you want, and keep to the rules. They have to be honest - no lying. I won't put up with lying, absolutely. You don't put up with lying from your children or from your business partners, and the same thing applies with a roommate. You're not going to put up with lying.
