Choosing An Online Dating Site
Choosing An Online Dating Site
Beth Roberts and Karin Anderson (Online Dating Coaches) gives expert video advice on: How do I chose an online dating site?; Are free online dating sites as good as pay sites? and more...
Should I join more than one online dating site?
Everyone's heard of eHarmony, match.com, JDate - those are the majors. That means they have at least a million members for you to choose from. But there are over 800 online dating websites, and that means there are a lot of smaller specialty websites, too. What we recommend is to look, it's a numbers game. Join a major site where you have the largest number of people to choose from. At the same time, join a specialty site - what you're looking for is if you have a passion or an interest, search one of the smaller sites and see if there's a site out there for you. That way, even though there are fewer people to choose from, you'll be guaranteed that everyone at that site shares your passion. Go to the major websites, where you're going to have a larger number of people who are random and may or may not be suited to you, and then a specialty site where you're guaranteed to share your passion. When we talk about specialty sites, what we mean is that there are sites for every activity that you can possibly think of. They didn't have it when I was online dating. If I was to online date now, I would pick one for sailors, I would pick one for yoga lovers, I'd definitely pick one for dog lovers. Anything, any activity that you can think of - tennis, golf, spirituality, you want to meet someone who also loves to volunteer their time. Really crazy stuff - people that also love pot, or love wine, or love whatever vice, you can find it. That's what we mean when we talk about specialty sites.
What is a 'specialty site' in online dating and how do I find one?
So how do you find a specialty site? It's very easy. You go to your browser. You type in, in quotes, online dating. That's online space dating, within quotes. Then you take another space, hit your space bar one more time, and type in your passion. If it's tennis, if it's yoga, if it's pets, type that in. Start the search and you'll see a number of sites that will pop up - that's how you find it. But don't give up if you don't find it when you type pets; type animals, type dogs, type cats. If you don't find it when you type tennis; type athletics, type sports. You can find anything in your search if you just keep trying.
Are free online dating sites as good as pay sites?
There are over eight hundred sites. Some are free, some cost money. You'll find as you go online that a lot of the smaller sites are free and the larger sites cost money. The smaller sites tend to offer free membership as a way to build them, and then get to the point where they charge money. Are they as good as others? Sure, because who is online dating sites? We are. People are. There are over 40 million singles at the various online dating websites. Obviously if it's free, it might be smaller. Smaller sites are free, so you might find that you don't have much of a selection to choose from as you would at a larger pay site. With online dating it's like everything else. You get what you pay for. When you do go to a pay site, you get a lot more convenience, and a lot more members. However, we recommend choosing one of the major sites where you might have to pay. Try a short membership see if you like it. Also we recommend the free specialty sites. They offer a lot. Maybe not as much convenience for membership, but definitely try both.
What elements make up a good online dating site?
What makes a great online dating site is very subjective. We tell our clients: think of yourself like Goldilocks. Go and try a site. If you like it, maybe it's too much for you, or not enough for you. Go to another one. But with over 800, you're going to have a lot of choices. Don't just listen or go to one because your friends are going to that one. Try that, but if you don't like it, that's no problem. Try, try, and try again.
Are 'adult' or 'discreet encounter' online dating sites legitimate?
The adult websites or discreet encounter websites, like anything else in life: beware, because they're changing all the time. It's really hard to say - this one's legit or that one's not legit. But you need to check it out and you need to be thorough, and if it doesn't feel right, listen to your gut. We don't judge - what we love about the internet is that there's something for everybody. We do recommend that maybe there are some discreet encounters or adult-only where you want to be a little racier; that's great. But it's really up to you to do some research and feel it out.
Is it okay to use social networking sites to date online?
People always ask us about social networking sites for online dating, like “Facebrook” or “Myspace” is the one most people have heard about. There's no way to answer what's a good online dating site versus what's a bad online dating site. It's really any place that provides an opportunity to meet lots of people, and screen through lots of people online, so you don't have to waste time meeting them in person, is a great place. What we found in our coaching, is that the social networking sites are used mostly by younger people; they grew up with the internet, they understand those kinds of sites, that's how they communicate with their friends. Older people tend to like a more conventional, organized site - they want to pay their money for a website, they want that website to only have online dating, they want that to be the focus of what they're going to do. Any place is great, but you'll tend to find younger people at the social networking sites, and more of a mature membership at some of the focused online dating sites.