College Campus Safety
When I head to college, what should I know about 'date rape'?
Date rape, also called acquaintance rape, is really scary because it's rape that happens as a result of someone who you know. A friend or someone who's familiar is the perpetrator. The statistics on rape are so scary. Between one in four and one in five college age women are victims of rape or attempted rape. There are men who are also victims of rape or attempted rape. I should also mention survivors - that's a better way to put it. Women have come up to me after events and they've said, "Thank you for saying that we're survivors, because that's what we are." That's the one thing that I want to mention is that you have done nothing wrong and you are not the one who needs to have these feelings of shame. The person who is committing this crime is the person who needs to harbour all of that shame, so put that shame back where it belongs and know that you did nothing wrong. Acquaintance rape is frightening because you can say everything right, you can do everything right and you can be a survivor of rape. You just have to be very careful and know that you're not alone.
What should I do if I've been raped?
If you're someone who thinks you've been a survivor of date rape, the most important thing you can do is to turn to medical professionals. Turn to a hotline. Every campus has a rape crisis hotline, and if you're not familiar with that number, ask your Resident Advisor (RA), or look on the campus website. There's also the RAINN hotline (RAINN.ORG) which is an amazing organization, as they have a 24-hour hotline. They also have, I believe, an online hotline, which is something that they've recently developed. So what you need to do is turn to the professionals. Even if you don't want to go ahead with legal action, at least you have that option. Now there's these horrible feelings of shame, and guilt, and both women and men write to me (but largely it's women), and they are so upset that this could happen to them. But the thing that I say is, there are millions of , unfortunately, millions of other women and men who've gone through this and knowing that you aren't alone is something that can be really empowering, so when it happens, instead of feeling like you are isolated and alienated and in this terrible place, turn to those people who can hug, hold and help and guide you along the way. And I know I will do everything I can to help you if you're someone who's in need.
When I head to college, what should I know about 'roofies'?
A roofie, also called Rohypnol, is a date rape drug, and there are people out there who are so afraid of taking the risks while sober, who can't take risks, that the only way that they can have sex with someone is if they drug someone else. A roofie will be slipped into someone's drink and then that someone will pass out, and then someone will have sex with that passed out person. It's twisted and really sick. Someone who does that is really someone who needs help. The thing is if you're somebody who is a survivor of date rape or of acquaintance rape, which is the same thing, or any kind of assault and there's been drugs or alcohol involved, again follow the same protocol. When you're at a party, don't take drinks from strangers. There have been stories where guys have actually taken girls' drinks who they've been friends with and they've had that alcohol and passed out because someone slipped a roofie in their drink at a bar. You have to be so careful. Always watch your drink, and never trust anybody unless you are there watching it being poured. Even in that situation, you have to be cautious.
What can I do to stay safe on campus?
When it comes to campus safety, you're in this cocoon, you feel like nothing's ever going to happen to you, but things happen all the time. You hear about it happening all the time. There are things that you need to do. If you are under the influence, don't walk home alone. If you are not under the influence, don't walk home alone. People are like "Oh, nothing's going to happen", they're so cavalier, but things happen. If you go to a party, make it a rule that whoever goes to the party together, goes home together. Don't allow your friends to go home with anybody. Now the thing is you might have a friend who gets really angry that you don't let him or her go home with someone, especially with women. You know this happens, they won't let this girl go home with someone and that friend might get really upset and really angry, but better that friend be upset and angry than the next day come to you and go "Oh my God, you'll never believe what happened". So if somebody is drinking too much, or putting themselves in a situation that's dangerous, you need to make sure you watch over your friends as well. Just be smart, don't do anything you wouldn't do at home and know that bad things can happen to good people on safe campuses.
What should I do If I or someone I know is being abused?
If you are in a situation where let's say, you know a good friend who is being physically abused in a relationship, a case of domestic abuse, it's a really scary thing. You have to really walk that line of how can you help that person but at the same time, not have that person push you away. At the same time if you're someone who is being abused in a relationship, the abuser wants you to feel alienated, the abuser isolates you, the abuser makes you feel like you're not good enough, so it becomes really difficult. But remember this and hang onto the fact that you are good enough, and turn to people who can help you. There is a domestic abuse hotline that's incredible, you always have your counseling services on campus, you also have RAs. If somebody else is being abused, turn to those people that are closest to them and let them know so that the people who love them most and who that person trusts can be there to help them. The answer is you have to tell people. It's very easy to turn the other cheek, but tell somebody because turning the other cheek just means that other cheek is just going to get hit.
