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Confessing To Infidelity

 
Dr. Sheri Meyers
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  • Should I confess a past affair to my spouse?
  • Should I tell my partner that I'm having an affair?
  • What is the best way to confess to an affair?
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Infidelity
 Infidelity Basics 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. What is "adultery"? 
  3. What is "infidelity"? 
  4. What is an "affair"? 
  5. What is a "cyber affair"? 
  6. What is "cybersex"? 
  7. What are some common causes of affairs? 
  8. Do women and men have affairs for different reasons? 
 Infidelity Detection 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. What are the red flags that my spouse is cheating on me? 
  3. How do I handle the guilt of having cheated on my spouse? 
  4. How can I avoid my spouse discovering I cheated on him or her? 
  5. Should I hire a private detective if I suspect my spouse is cheating? 
  6. Is it true that most cheaters who get caught subconsciously want to be caught? 
 Infidelity Prevention 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. How do I know if my marriage is vulnerable to infidelity? 
  3. Should I avoid friendships with people I'm highly attracted to? 
  4. How can I "affair-proof" my marriage? 
  5. How do I avoid cheating on my spouse? 
 If Your Spouse Is Cheating 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. What do I do if I believe that my spouse is having an affair? 
  3. What do I do if I discover that my spouse is having an affair? 
  4. What do I do if my spouse won't admit to having an affair? 
  5. What do I do if I catch my spouse in the act of cheating? 
  6. What do I do if I know my spouse is having an affair with a friend of mine? 
  7. What do I do if my spouse is ambivalent about stopping his or her affair? 
 If You Are Cheating 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. I love my spouse, so why am I having an affair? 
  3. How do I end my affair? 
  4. How can I stop obsessing about my lover? 
 If You Cheated And It's Over 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. How can I avoid cheating again? 
  3. How do I ask for forgiveness after I have been unfaithful to my spouse? 
  4. How can I ease my guilt after ending my affair? 
Confessing To Infidelity (Now Playing)
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
 Infidelity And Emotional Affairs 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. What is an "emotional affair"? 
  3. Is having an emotional affair really cheating? 
  4. How is an emotional affair different from a platonic friendship? 
  5. How can I turn my emotional affair into a platonic friendship? 
 Infidelity And Cyber Affairs 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. What are some signs that my spouse may be having a cyber affair? 
  3. What's the line between flirting and a cyber affair? 
  4. What can I do to stop my cyber affair? 
  5. What can I do to stop my spouse's cyber affair? 
 Romantic Affairs In The Workplace 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. Why is it a bad idea to have affair with a coworker? 
  3. Why are workplace affairs so tempting and how can I avoid having one? 
  4. What do I do if I find myself attracted to someone I work with? 
  5. What do I do if I am attracted to my boss? 
 Infidelity And Children 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. What do I do if my child learns that my spouse or I have been unfaithful? 
 Infidelity And Healing 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. What do we need to do as a couple to salvage our relationship after an affair? 
  3. How can I help heal my marriage after I have been unfaithful? 
  4. How can I help heal my relationship with my cheating partner? 
  5. Why do I feel so betrayed by my spouse's cheating? 
  6. How do I forgive my spouse after they have been unfaithful to me? 
  7. How can I trust my unfaithful spouse not to cheat again? 
 If Your Spouse Cheated 
  1. Dr. Sheri Meyers
  2. Why did my spouse cheat? 
  3. How can I stop obsessing about my spouse's infidelity? 
  4. How do I cope with my jealousy and insecurity stemming from my spouse's affair? 
 Why Guys Cheat 
  1. David Wygant
  2. Why do guys cheat? 
  3. What are the signs he's cheating? 
 Why Guys Cheat 
  1. Lisa Clampitt
  2. Why do guys cheat? 
  3. What are the signs he's cheating? 
Sheri Meyers Dr. Sheri Meyers
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Transcript

Confessing To Infidelity

Should I confess a past affair to my spouse?

Should you confess a relationship that you had while married for a long time ago to your partner? This is a sticky wicket, because if you're not involved, you haven't been involved. It's not that you have a pattern of affairs, it's a one time thing or whatever it was it was long gone. "Why do you want to bring it up now?" is my question for you. Is it because you're wrapped with guilt? Is it creating a problem currently in your being intimate with your partner? Are you holding the secret of disease or something that could affect your partner currently? And my question for you is, are you ready for the consequences because there will be a storm that follows your confession? So if you want to confess, make sure you're really ready for what's going to follow.

Should I tell my partner that I'm having an affair?

You are having an affair and you're wondering do you tell your spouse. My question for you is, are you ready to end your affair? Are you thinking about telling your spouse so that you can end your affair? You can't end your affair and need your partner's help and telling them is the only way you can think of ending your affair. If you tell your partner, understand all hell is going to break loose. However, keeping a secret such as this may create a division; an emotional division between you and your partner. If you tell your partner, there's a good chance that what will happen after the storm; because there's a storm whenever we confess, is that you can begin to rebuild your relationship with your partner. Also, this kind of honesty may start a pattern and a process of radical honesty, which is what your relationship needs. Also the chances of you having another affair will probably be slim because you made the choice to come clean and to be clean. So yes, if you want to tell your partner and you are willing to end your affair, do it. But do it with understanding, with love, and with the awareness that you are ending this affair.

What is the best way to confess to an affair?

So you want to confess to your partner. I've got to tell you, I don't envy you. This is probably one of the roughest things to do. Here are some things you need to know. Expect a really strong reaction. First you may get shock. After that, you're going to get lots of questions once the shock wears off. Make sure when you give the information or you tell your partner that you start with love; "I love you. I am telling you this because I want to come home. I want our home to be strong. I screwed up, and I'm telling you this so the we can build a stronger relationship." Then, tell what happened. Don't give too many details; your partner, at this moment, doesn't need to know every gory detail. Trust me, the questions will be coming soon. Then, close with love. "I love you. I want this to work. I am so sorry that I hurt you, that I betrayed you." Be empathetic even before your partner knows that they need your empathy. Understand and take responsibility for what you know is wrong, and close with love.

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