Confessing To Infidelity
Confessing To Infidelity
Sheri Meyers (Marriage and Family Therapist) gives expert video advice on: What is the best way to confess to an affair? and more...
Should I confess a past affair to my spouse?
Should you confess a relationship that you had while married for a long time ago to your partner? This is a sticky wicket, because if you're not involved, you haven't been involved. It's not that you have a pattern of affairs, it's a one time thing or whatever it was it was long gone. "Why do you want to bring it up now?" is my question for you. Is it because you're wrapped with guilt? Is it creating a problem currently in your being intimate with your partner? Are you holding the secret of disease or something that could affect your partner currently? And my question for you is, are you ready for the consequences because there will be a storm that follows your confession? So if you want to confess, make sure you're really ready for what's going to follow.
Should I tell my partner that I'm having an affair?
You are having an affair and you're wondering do you tell your spouse. My question for you is, are you ready to end your affair? Are you thinking about telling your spouse so that you can end your affair? You can't end your affair and need your partner's help and telling them is the only way you can think of ending your affair. If you tell your partner, understand all hell is going to break loose. However, keeping a secret such as this may create a division; an emotional division between you and your partner. If you tell your partner, there's a good chance that what will happen after the storm; because there's a storm whenever we confess, is that you can begin to rebuild your relationship with your partner. Also, this kind of honesty may start a pattern and a process of radical honesty, which is what your relationship needs. Also the chances of you having another affair will probably be slim because you made the choice to come clean and to be clean. So yes, if you want to tell your partner and you are willing to end your affair, do it. But do it with understanding, with love, and with the awareness that you are ending this affair.
What is the best way to confess to an affair?
So you want to confess to your partner. I've got to tell you, I don't envy you. This is probably one of the roughest things to do. Here are some things you need to know. Expect a really strong reaction. First you may get shock. After that, you're going to get lots of questions once the shock wears off. Make sure when you give the information or you tell your partner that you start with love; "I love you. I am telling you this because I want to come home. I want our home to be strong. I screwed up, and I'm telling you this so the we can build a stronger relationship." Then, tell what happened. Don't give too many details; your partner, at this moment, doesn't need to know every gory detail. Trust me, the questions will be coming soon. Then, close with love. "I love you. I want this to work. I am so sorry that I hurt you, that I betrayed you." Be empathetic even before your partner knows that they need your empathy. Understand and take responsibility for what you know is wrong, and close with love.