Coping With End-Stage Cancer
How do you know when to accept a bad prognosis?
I think if the doctors tell you there's no hope with your cancer they would often suggest a hospice, and I think perhaps then you have to accept the bad prognosis. I don't necessarily believe that that's the end of it. I think the body has tremendous abilities to overcome things, but I think sometimes we just lose our will and you may just be tired of the fight. So I think it's an individual decision whatever. If you still feel there's options you want to try or if you're just weary of the battle against cancer, I understand either way.
What should I do if I am overwhelmed by fear of losing someone to cancer?
I would think being overwhelmed by a fear of losing someone to cancer is a natural feeling, and perhaps a support group would help. Life is for the living. You have to focus on your life and how to make it as full. And if there's a way that you can do something in your loved one's memory, something that's important to them - that would give your life meaning.
What should I expect to feel when I lose a loved one?
I think you would expect a huge hole in your heart, loneliness and sadness when you lose a loved one to cancer, and I would say you have to experience that. There is no shortcut through it. You have to go through these feelings when you lose someone to cancer, but to realize that you are still alive and there are still things for you to do and relationships for you to have and a life to be lived is also important when you lose someone to cancer.
Who should I talk to about preparing for my death?
I think the people close to you, are the ones you should talk to about preparing for your death. You would want to tell them what funeral arrangements and burial arrangements you would want. And then on a practical note, you should write down exactly what you want done. I think it's really important to have it in your writing, or dictated to someone or on video, exactly what you want, because then there's no question Mom wanted this, or how Dad wanted things handled when they died.
Are there support groups for people who have lost someone to cancer?
There are support groups for people who have lost someone to cancer - there are grieving and bereavement groups and I would think that you could find them through your church or synagogue or online. Or different communities offer different groups of support for people who have lost someone to cancer. And I would think that that would be a good thing to do so that you are able to verbalize what you are going through.
How long does the grieving process typically take?
I think the grieving process is individual. Each person deals with the grieving process in their own way and I think in some people, I think that, that person is never replaced in your life but you have to go on.