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Dealing With Exes

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Dealing With Exes

Lillian Glass (Communication Psychologist) gives expert video advice on: What do I do if I want to get back together with my ex?; What do I do if my ex won't leave me alone? and more...

What do I do if my ex wants to get back together?

If your boyfriend or your girlfriend comes to you and says, "You know, I really want to get back together," first of all it's up to you. It's what you want, not what they want. So think about the reasons why your broke up in the first place. You may think "Hey, this time was good that we were apart. Now we can get back together and try to repair things." Or you may think "Hey, leopards don't change their spots. I'm not going back there again." And that's OK too, because it's your decision to make. So don't feel pressured and don't feel guilted into doing something that you don't want to do.

What do I do if I want to get back together with my ex?

If you want to get back together with your ex there are a lot of things you can do. First of all, you need to be honest and open with yourself and ask yourself “Do I really want to get back into this situation?” Secondly, if you do, you need to tell them openly what you feel that your contribution to this breakup was. Thirdly, you need to be open and honest with your feelings and say you know I really missed you, I know that you were the best person for me, I'm so sorry that I created this as well and I want us to get together. But really tell your emotions and express them. Don't hold anything back. Finally, know that the other person may not accept you back in the relationship. If they don't, have a support system ready to help you deal with that as well.

What do I do if my ex won't leave me alone?

What do you do if your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend won't leave you alone? What do you do if they're a fatal attraction? First of all, you tell them, in no uncertain terms, that the relationship is over; that you think it's in both of your best interests that you don't communicate, via e-mail, via telephone, or in person. If that doesn't work, you need to write them a letter, so you have documentation where you've told them not to contact you. If that doesn't work, go to the authorities and get a restraining order, because that's what some people need to get the message.

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Tips & Comments
  1. Anonymous

    I fell in love with my ex within a month - we broke up because i was moving too fast - we still speak when we see each other (the rale times) but last time in a club he was with his girlfriend and he came over to me but i totally blanked him and i dont know why - i regret this now because i hardly see him and still love him loads! i want him back but how do i make the first step! argh!!!!

  2. Anonymous

    i broke up with my ex(because he told me to). it hurt really bad because i really like him(we were still close friends). a few days later he comes and message me and tell me that he still like he....but still he didn't ask me out...he kept on doing the same thing over and over till one day he got a girlfriend...that really hurt me a lot because he said he like it me and than went out with some other girl..after a month of relationship with his girlfriend he broke up with her and found out that she cheated on him....i was really have happy because they broke up but sad because he was sad...than a few day later he ask me out and i was sooo happy(still am) soo my advice to u is if a relationship is broke don't try to fix it..cause u'll get hurt..but if u have a chance to this person be friends with them first and than make the move(or let her/him do it) =]]

  3. Anonymous

    My ex is the most retarded-idiot i have ever met, but he's adorable. I dumped him, we got back together. He dumped me and made me feel like poo. Weeks later he tries talking to me again... He wants to be friends. Apart of me wants to be friends, but i know i'll want to be more and i know i'm gonna get hurt again. this video: not particularly helpful. :(

  4. Anonymous

    my ex wants me back but I don't want him i can't just cut him out of my life for two reasons, 1 I worry that he will be violent towards me and 2 we have two children together who absolutely worship him - it's been two years but he still doesn't seem to get it!!!!

  5. Anonymous

    omg! i am so in love with my ex-boyfriend....

  6. Anonymous

    I broke up with my ex a month ago. Traditionally, I just cut all ties and stop all communication, but this time I tried to be "just friends." REALLY bad idea. It sent the wrong message and caused her to not leave me alone. I knew she was not mentally or emotionally stable, but I never thought I would have to call the police because she was banging down my door. Then I had to deal with phone calls and text messages all day and night long. The worst part is we work together, so I also had to deal with getting emails and instant messages at work. I just ignored everything: never picked up the phone, replied to a message, or answered the door. After about 2 weeks she finally left me alone. However, now she is taking a passive aggressive approach by stalking my desk and Outlook calendar at work. The crazy part is that I want to reach out to her more than anything. I want to talk to her and tell her it's going to be OK. I want to hold her and tell her I still love her. I want to be there for her through all the hurt and sadness, but I know I shouldn't. I know she is just a dark cloud that will eventually blow over and I will forget about. What does that mean? I have been through this hurt a few times before, like everyone has, but why does it always hurt so much? Why can't I stop thinking about her and the next guy she is going to be with? Why can't I just move on knowing that I am doing the right thing...

  7. Anonymous

    This is bad advice. Getting a restraining order may escalate the problem from one that does not place someone in physical danger, but is annoying and emotionally traumatic, to one that could threaten one's physical safety. Get documentation, Try to discuss this problem in a rational, compassionate manner with an authority figure for the individual - a parent, school counselor, employer, etc... - if appropriate. Run a Internet search of "intrusive conduct" for more advice.

  8. Anonymous

    I don't want my ex back she can have him.

  9. Anonymous

    I want to get back with my Leopard but she's still got spots. I'm not sure now. Thanks.

  10. Anonymous

    i want to get back with my ex but also have no support system in case