Dealing With Stress
What is coping ability?
Coping ability is the way that we actually handle situations. It's really simple, its like how do you cope? You need to develop a whole range of strategies, and the first one is: know yourself. We all package our stress differently. So for example, I know if I get over tired or if I'm not too well or if I'm doing a bit more than I really should have been doing, because my family has a predisposition towards eczema, I will get tiny little bits of eczema at the back of my ears. Now, I don't have to wait until my whole head is broken out with it to recognize that, yes, I've got a little bit, I'm probably over tired, and let's do something about it. So I recommend that people look for their early warning signals and every one has one. Whether its been a bit more clumsy or a bit more forgetful; learn those. Once you understand what your early warning signals are, you can take corrective action.
What can affect our coping ability?
The kinds of things that tend to affect coping ability for individuals include simply not recognizing that something's going wrong. I mean, most of us rush around thinking it's our fault, saying, "I should be able to do this, I should be able to do that." Stop! Analyze what you're doing, work out if it's actually feasible, and if it isn't feasible then put an action plan in place. Talk to people, get some help. Everyone says, "Oh, I couldn't possibly do that," and they do a lot of what we call 'mind-reading.' So they'll already have written the script in their head without ever asking the other person in the first place. So that's one of the things that you have to do, you have to learn to ask for help.
Why can some people cope more effectively?
People have a different of level coping ability. Now this can sometimes be because some people cope better simply because they've learned a lot more strategies and because they're not so hard on themselves. They are someone who says, "Look, enough is enough. I am going to take 20 minutes out now, that's the way it is. And the world will not disintegrate if I do." Whereas other people will actually let themselves down in terms of their coping ability because they won't give themselves a break and they won't be kind to themselves. So I think one of the things you have to recognize is that you can improve your coping ability. You need to understand what to do, you need to understand that you need a healthy diet. Now, what I mean by that is not that you have to live off everything brown and rabbit leaves, no, no no, you don't have to do that. But you do have to eat 3 times a day, you do need some breakfast, you do need something at lunch and something in the evening and you do need to snack. Now the reason for that is that stress affects our blood sugar levels because we're pumping out stress hormones, and because these stress hormones upset our blood sugar levels, we have to be even more careful. Little things like carry water with you, because again, the more water you drink the more you will eliminate stress hormones from your system. So eating is quite important, and trying to avoid the obvious things like refined sugars, because again, that may feel you great for about for about half an hour but then of course, all it does is aggravate your blood sugar levels. So you want to be eating things like carbohydrates, but try brown bread, things like that. Eat something that's going to sustain you in that way. Porridge is obviously a great one, fruit is also good for you, so there's lot's of things you can do there. And if you go to the office, don't just run out and grab the first thing at lunchtime. What you want to do is, if you're having a stressful period, pop into the shop for the weekend; get yourself lots of little nice healthy meals that you could take with you. Pop them in your handbag or pop them in your case, take them with you, and most of offices these days have a microwave or something like that. So, there really isn't an excuse if you stand back and plan a little bit. So diet is important. Exercise is also important. Now, going to the gym or playing a sport is a good way of alleviating stress. However, some people just aren't into it. So, what I say is, well look, park your car a mile away from the office. That means you're guaranteed a two mile walk, so that you could do everyday. If you're in the office, just walk up a flight of stairs every now and again instead of taking the lift everywhere. At lunchtime, get out of the office for, maybe, twenty minutes and go for a walk. Also trying to use an exercise you enjoy. So, if you like dancing for example, but you hate the idea of working out at a gym, go to a dance class, it's a great exercise. So choose something that would be fun because that also links in with another aspect of stress, which is people who have fun are less likely to be stressed. Because when you're enjoying yourself, whatever it is that you're going to do, your brain will switch off in some way, and it's taking a rest from your day-to-day troubles. We also know that physiologically, when you laugh, your body can't be stressed.
Where are we most likely to experience stress?
Most people experience stress in their work life, so, twenty-four seven lifestyle, lots of demands, you might have the sort of job where you're constantly on the go all the time and there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day. So work is certainly an area that people experience stress. But of course, your personal life can have stress too. You know, relationships end, or you might be moving house. I mean, we know, for example, that moving house is one of the most stressful life experiences that you can have. You might get that great promotion and you think its wonderful, trouble is it's on the other side of the country. So great you've got this new job but you've also left all your friends and your family behind you. So there's lots of different ways both in your personal life and in your professional life that you can experience stress.
