Domestic Partnerships

What is the definition of a "domestic partnership"?

Well a domestic partnership is different in almost every place where it exists. So, for example, in the State of California, there is a legally recognized domestic partnership that two people can enter if they're either of the same sex - or they can be of the opposite sex if one of them is over the age of 62 – and that gets entered into with the Secretary of the State and gives you a whole bunch of rights and responsibilities that come with it. But lots of cities and counties have domestic partnership, other states have domestic partnership, but it's not the same thing, so it's really different everywhere. But for the most part, it's two people living together and sharing some set of legal rights. And that's different everywhere, the definition of who's in a domestic partnership is different everywhere, so it really depends on what jurisdiction it is. As well as some companies recognize domestic partners that have no legal bearing at all, it's just the way a company will recognize people for benefits sometimes.

How do the rights and obligations granted in marriage differ from those granted in a domestic partnership?

Well, marriage rights are ruled by every state in the country treats marriage differently. But for the most part, the rights are pretty similar state to state and then the federal government has over a thousand rights that come with marriage through federal law. Domestic partnership, for example in the state of California, you get most of the rights and obligations that married couples get under state law, but you get none of the federal rights and obligations that come with it. So the thousand plus rights that you get in the federal law, you don't get as a domestic partner in California. My partner's from the United Kingdom. He cannot become a citizen even though we're domestic partners legally registered with the state of California. So, that's one area where there's a huge difference. You don't get any of the federal tax benefits that come only with marriage. Domestic partners don't get any of those. Social security, domestic partners can pay into social security their entire lives, but they get none of the benefits if one of them were to die. So those are just some of the many examples of the rights you don't get as a domestic partner that you do get if you're married.

Who is eligible for a domestic partnership?

When discussing who is eligible for a domestic partnership, it totally varies by jurisdiction over who is eligible for a domestic partnership. In California, it's two people of the same sex or two people of the opposite sex, as long as one is 62 years of age or older. In other places it's any two people who live together who can be in a domestic relationship. Some places you don't even have to live together, it's just any two people. So, it really varies from place to place over who is eligible for a domestic relationship. Typically it's been two people, single and not married to somebody else who live in the same household.

Why would I want my relationship legally recognized as a domestic partnership?

I think the reasons people want to be recognized as domestic partners vary. In some places, domestic partners are simply a way to get health insurance and other benefits that you can't get in any other way unless you're married. In some cases, it's a situation where you can't get married, so becoming domestic partners is the only way your relationship can get recognized, and the only way you can protect your family. For example, domestic partners in California, and in some other places, have custody and decision-making rights for the children of the relationship. If the two people can't get married because of discriminatory marriage laws, domestic partnership is the only way they can protect their families. In other cases, people want to enter into a domestic partnership for symbolic reasons. It is symbolic of their relationship being official and being recognized even though they can't get married, which is the way universally we accept and recognize relationships.

Where are domestic partnerships granted?

The only state that grants domestic partnership as of today is California. There's legislation that's moving forward which is going to the governor of Washington to recognize domestic partnerships, but it's a very limited domestic partner registry. It would give maybe five or six rights, whereas California's gives hundreds. New Jersey had domestic partnership recognition, but recently passed civil unions law, so they now have civil unions, which is a different way of recognizing relationships. There's a domestic partner bill that's moving forward in the Oregon legislature as well. As far as cities go, New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles - probably over 100 major cities - all recognize domestic partners. In addition, in several of those cities and in the state of California, those cities and states don't do business with companies that don't give domestic partner benefits to their employees. That's another reason that people might want to register: because they can get benefits, and the government requires companies who do business to give those benefits.

Where are domestic partnerships legally recognized?

Domestic partnerships are usually only legally recognized in the location where you got it. So, if you're a domestic partner in New York City, you're only a legally recognized partner in New York City. If you're a domestic partner in San Francisco, you're a legally recognized domestic partner in San Francisco. Usually city domestic partnership laws only give you access to government benefits. They don't give you any other rights because those are under state law. In California if you recognize a domestic partner, you recognize the domestic partner in California. If you cross the border into Nevada or Arizona, you're legally a stranger with absolutely no rights, no recognition, and you're not considered anything as far as the relationship. You could be just two strangers.

What effect does legalizing domestic partnerships have on our society?

I mean, there've been studies done, actually the Williams Institute, which is based at UCLA, has done studies on the government savings for taxpayers of both domestic partnership and marriage. And those savings are significant. It comes from the fact that, when people don't have health insurance because they don't get it through their partner or their partner's work, those people often end up going to emergency rooms and that's being paid for by tax dollars. So there are many examples in that situation where taxpayers actually cover the cost because government discriminates against same-sex couples. As a society, we should be treating everyone equall, and domestic partnership is really a step to give people some rights and benefits until we can end the discrimination that currently exists in the marriage laws. It's a way of letting couples be recognized and have some stability and have some access to benefits and protections for their family. Without any recognition of your relationship and that of your children, you're often left in a really vulnerable situation. There are horror stories about people who end up homeless because their partner dies and they don't have access to any of the benefits that a married couple had. So it's really important from that perspective.

What are "reciprocal benefits"?

With domestic partnerships, Hawaii has something called reciprocal benefits, which allow any two people to sign up with the state and get a handful of rights. So typically, reciprocal benefits cover things like medical decisions. It's a pretty minor way of any two people, whether they're in a relationship or not, to say, "This is the person I want to designate for a couple of key things.”