Explaining The Divorce To The Kids
How might the divorce affect my children?
Your children can be affected negatively and positively by divorce. The negative effects include feelings of anger, frustration, disobedience and fear for the future; but on the positive side, the children might actually realise that divorce is the best thing that the parents can do, particularly if they're arguing a lot. Children also might feel relieved if the parents are both talking to them and both making sure that they're kept up to date with what's happening in divorce proceedings..
What is the best way of minimising the effects of divorce on children?
The best way of minimising the effects of divorce on children is to agree not to disagree. Try to reach an amicable solution, and also put the childrens' interests foremost in divorce proceedings. Reassure the children that you're thinking of them all the time, that you love them very much, and that you'll always be there for them.
Should I arrange family counselling for my kids?
Family counselling helps children and parents through hard times such as divorce. If your child's not developing properly, maybe a year after the divorce, or if there are aspects of their behaviour which concerns you, either seek help from a GP or look at family counselling as a means of trying to get to the bottom of it.
My child is angry - is it because of the divorce?
If you have a child who's angry, and you've just got divorced or you're going through a divorce, then yes, there's a good chance that the two are related. Try to see your child not so much as a bad child, but an angry child with bad behaviour, which could be due to something that's outside his or her control. Speak to them. Spend time with them. Try and encourage them to talk about their anger about your divorce. With your encouragement, they'll get through their anger. But if you are concerned about their behaviour, then seek further help.
My child is depressed - is it because of the divorce?
If your child is depressed and you've just gone through a divorce, then there is a very good chance that the two are connected. If you are really worried about the depression and don't seem to be able to talk to your child about it, then seek professional help as quickly as possible. It's possible that the child is bottling it up and needs a safe place to talk through their feelings about the divorce, possibly in the company of somebody else. Do your best to be with the child, reassure your child, and say that you will always be there for them.
