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Should I involve my fiance in the wedding planning process?

Family Involvement In Wedding Planning

Carol Rosen (Professional Wedding Coordinator) gives expert video advice on: Do I have to always please everyone at my wedding?; Should I include my fiance when choosing the wedding cake? and more...

Should I involve my fiance in the wedding planning process?

You should involve your fiance in the wedding planning process as much as he wants to be involved. It's really hard to get guys to do certain kinds of things, so if your man does not care about flowers, don't make him crazy with the flowers. There's just no point. He's going to come and be happy and think everything looks lovely, and he doesn't know a rose from a snapdragon. It doesn't matter. If he really cares that it's pink and not yellow, then that's something you should go with. I think that most men are really very interested in music and they do want to take part in choosing the music, so what I would do is I always suggest that you ask your fiance what they want to be involved in: "What parts do you want to have a choice in? What meetings do you want to attend? Then you're going to have a happy camper, somebody who's working with you rather than against you.

Should I involve both families in the wedding planning?

You should try as hard as you can to involve both of your families in the wedding planning process. It helps them to buy into it, and not to feel as though they're being ignored. Part of what you're doing during your wedding planning process is you are establishing a certain relationship with your mother-in-law-to-be, and you want that to be as lovely as possible. You're going to have the next forty years with this woman, so involve her in some way, where you can actually give her something to do, give her a project that's hers in particular, where you can say, "Whatever you do is great." Then you're really going to have a much easier time of it.

Do I have to always please everyone at my wedding?

You can't please everyone all the time. What you do try to do is choose things that you think will be the most pleasing to the most number of people, and you go from there. You have to please yourself, too. It's your wedding, it's your day, and you need to have that be a reflection of who you and your groom are, together. You choose the things that you really like.

Should I include my fiance when choosing the wedding cake?

When you go to choose a wedding cake, take your fiance - unless he absolutely doesn't want to go - because that's the most fun in the world. You get to taste all those good flavors and look at all the designs, and it's a very fun meeting. Include him in the cake tasting choice.

Should I register with my fiance?

The question of registering comes up all the time before a wedding. What you're going to register for could be everyday dishes, formal china, kitchenware, linens, and things of that nature. Should you take your fiance? Absolutely. There are going to be a lot of things that he actually cares about. He might not really care about china too much; maybe that's something where you need to go and pick three patterns to then take him back and say, "Okay, here's three. Is there one that you really like a whole lot better?" But maybe he's really into cooking, so maybe he's the guy that's going to pick out the kitchen appliances and the things that you're going to have on your wedding register. I think that he should be part of that with you, because the registry is putting your new life together for the two of you, and what you're going to have in your home should be a joint decision.

Should I narrow my gift choices before I register with my fiance?

I don't know if it's really necessary to narrow your gift choices before you register with your fiance your wedding. However, this might be necessary when we're talking about something like choosing a china pattern, where he doesn't want to look at 50 china patterns. You might look at that kind of a thing, get it down to the three you like, and then ask him which he likes. As far as what you're actually going to choose from is concerned, I think that's something where the two of you can go through a store to decide. Macy's is a big store for wedding registering, and you can go through a store like that, or somewhere like Bloomingdales, and really look at the different things you can register for. If there are things your fiance doesn't care about at all then you can always go back and do that later on your own.