Fetishes And Fantasies

What is S and M?

S and M stands for Sadism and Masochism. A Sadist is somebody who gets an actual thrill out of inflicting pain, fear into another person. Usually, they've got to work with the person who's into masochism - a person who likes to have pain inflicted on them. There are many degrees of this, and there are many ways of doing it that need not always be about physical pain. You can use a lot of mental domination techniques. It's for people who are not aware of what goes on in that world - it seems rather scary, but a lot of the people who are involved in it, know exactly what they are doing, and this is for them what they really want in their lives.

Is S and M really very common?

I wouldn't necessarily say that S and M is common, not in certain forms, certain extreme forms of it, but it's probably much more widespread than people are aware of. There is another definition which you will hear people talk about, BDSM, which means bondage, domination, sadism and masochism. This is in all its forms, ranging from the extremely mild, being tied up or using a pair of those fluffy handcuffs that you can buy in sex shops, from that to the extreme end of it, is much more widespread.

What is a fetish?

A fetish is perhaps quite difficult to define, because it's such a broad field. In essence, it is where there is an object which is necessary to create sexual arousal in the person with the fetish. Examples of fetishes are the shoe fetish. At its more extreme, men like to see them in very extreme types of high-heels, which obviously change the shape of the leg and the body. That shoe needs to be there in order to arouse the man. Similarly, foot fetish men obsessed by the sight of a foot where that is the primary location of where the desire arises. That is when you talk about fetish - when it's not the overall thing - when you're focused on one thing.

What are water sports?

Water sports, in sexual terms, are certainly not surfing, or wind surfing. Water sports are practiced quite widely, and it is where people enjoy being urinated on by another person.

What is a fantasy?

A fantasy is where you use your imagination to create sexual arousal in yourself or in another person. You might say that all sex begins in the brain - it's not a purely body function. Therefore, all sex involves some kind of fantasy element, but we probably have fantasies almost every day of some kind of either sex unit or sex orientation, whether it's about our partner, whether it's about somebody else or a celebrity, whatever we imagine being that makes us aroused sexually. You can keep a fantasy to yourself, or you can use it as part of masturbation practice. In a sense, it is something that is self-contained. You can share a fantasy with your partner and you both play it out. There are a lot of different ways to use your fantasies, but the primal way that we use them is to arouse ourselves, and we experiment in our fantasies with what turns us on. There are various important ways of learning a tool for sex.

What is paraphilia?

Paraphilia is a technical term for fetishes. In this case, you would say that somebody has paraphilia - they cannot become sexually aroused at all without the fetish object being there. In some people, this can lead to extreme behavior and they can become really dangerous to themselves or to other people, depending on what the fetish is. That is what a paraphilia is - it's a clinical definition of fetish.