Finding And Meeting Potential Dates
What are some good ways to prepare for dating?
In order to prepare for dating, the first thing you need to do is know yourself. When you know yourself you can know other people. If you know your likes and your dislikes you'll know what fits into your life in terms of dating. There may be people there who are unacceptable; don't give them a chance and prepare no-nos that you put down on your list. Don't continue getting to know that person because that's not going to be in your best interest. You need to know yourself when preparing to date.
Where can I find a date?
You can find a potential date anywhere. Just keep your eyes open and have the energy about you that you are ready to attract someone, so you'll be accessible to the person, because if you close yourself off and you're cynical or you're negative, people won't be ready to talk to you. You have to be approachable and that's what attracts people to you. You can meet people anywhere: if you're in the grocery store, if you're taking a class, if you're at work, if you're walking down the street, if you're friendly and engaging you can meet anyone, the whole world opens up to you.
What places should I avoid looking for potential dates?
There are many places where you should avoid looking for potential dates, but on the other hand, they sometimes are unavoidable. For example, in the office; it's not a good idea to date people that are in your office, but sometimes it can't be avoided. Sometimes those people can turn out to be your mates because you know a lot about them, you've seen them work under different circumstances, and that may be a very good way to meet someone. However, don't look for it consciously. Another place where it may be questionable to look for a potential date would be in a bar because that attracts many people who drink, and if you don't drink and the person drinks, that may be a problem. On the other hand, that's where a lot of people have met people, especially in colleges; they go to the local bar and they meet people. There are sports bars so it is a good idea to meet people there. So, bars aren't really that bad a place to meet people. Some people think you shouldn't meet people in a 12 step program. In fact, in 12 step programmes they specifically tell you not to date people in the programme. However, sometimes after you are in the programme a while, that person may understand you, and especially if they're abstinent and you're abstinent, it may be in your best interest. So, there are no hard and fast rules in terms of where to meet someone and where not to meet someone.
How do I decide if someone is a suitable date when I first meet them?
When you first meet someone you can really tell if they're a suitable date for you. Don't just go by "Ooh, I think they're attractive, ooh, I think they're exciting". Look at their behaviour, watch what they say, and watch what they do with their body language. Also, hear what they're all about. Look for consistencies and inconsistencies. They may not be telling you the truth, so you've got to really look at the person and listen to what they have to say.
How can I tell if a potential date is secretly married?
Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there in the dating world who claim to be single and unfortunately, they're not. A lot of broken hearts have happened because of that. What you need to do is you need to, once again, look at the person's body language in terms of how they're coming across. Watch to see if they're lying, for example, if they blink a lot, if they do a shoulder shrug, if they shuffle their feet, especially when you're asking questions like are you married? So you want to look at them in that regard. You also want to listen to what they say. They may start dropping in the word "we" and that's not a very good sign. Some people think, oh, they may have had a ring on and they may have a tan line. That's another good sign to look at. Some people may be so bold as to wear a ring. So you really want to be quite upfront with somebody and ask them if they're married and if they say no you just say how long have you not been married and watch their expression, because sometimes they'll look up to kind of make up the story. So you just want to really be sure. If they don't give you their phone number, if they don't give you their number at work, if they don't tell you where they work, if they're very evasive, good chance they're not being honest with you and good chance they very well may be married.
What are some warning signs I'm on a dead-end date?
There are various warning signs that will tell you that you are not on a good date. First of all, if the person is sarcastic and makes comments to you that are really rude and mean. If they follow it up by saying, "Oh, but I was only kidding" - no, they're not, they are not a very nice person. On a date, if somebody is constantly looking around at other people, that's a dead-end date as they need to focus right on you. If a person has inconsistencies in they're story, that's not a good sign at all. If a person constantly talks about themselves and they say, "Me me me, I I I", then finally say, "Oh, I been talking about myself a lot, let's talk about you. What do you think about me?" Then you know that you are with the wrong person on your date.
