Getting A Date With A Guy
What attracts a guy to a woman?
I think men are incredibly visual, so I think looks are the number one thing that attract a man to a woman. And then ultimately things like her personality, her energy level. There's something called chemistry which is sort of an allusive term for things like attraction, old patterns that sort of remind us of someone we used to have a crush on, or family patterns. And then ultimately the independence, the personality, the ability to be able to feel comfortable with someone. So I think that number one is looks, but wrapped up in a package that has all those other elements in it.
Do I give him my number when he asks?
I think if a man asks for your number and you're interested in him, you're a lunatic not to give the number. I think the more games that you play, the more obstacles you create into being able to go out on a date with someone that you like. So if someone asks for your number, give it to him.
Do men want a 'porn star' or a 'girl next door'?
It is very interesting because a lot of my clients talk about how they want a combination of Sex and the City, I think everyone knows sex, there is Charlotte and then there is Samantha. Everyone wants the girlfriend of Charlotte to go home with and hang out with and establish a home with. But then in the bedroom they want a Samantha. They want someone that is a little bit more calm and relaxed and confident and comfortable and experimental. So I think it is a balance. They do not want to marry a porn star but they want that balance of someone that can have the best of both worlds.
Should a girl ask a guy out?
I think that for the etiquette of who should make the first move, I think if a woman feels that she's very interested in a guy, there's ways to let him know without pouncing on him. So for instance, the woman could be very curious and flirtatious. Lean in, pay attention to him, play with your hair and give him the cues that allow him to feel comfortable and open about making the first move.
