Going On A Date With A Guy
Going On A Date With A Guy
David Wygant (Dating Coach) gives expert video advice on: What does a guy expect on the first date?; What does a guy expect on the second and third date?; What do guys expect from a single mom on the first few dates? and more...
What does a guy expect on the first date?
Out of the first date, guys expect absolutely nothing! Nothing! They, like you, want to connect with somebody. But, also, you've got to realize, too, and you've got to be really honest with yourself, because a lot of the times you go out on a date, it's either to have a relationship, it might be to set up your next booty call, it might be just to make you feel better because you just got broken up with. We all date for different reasons. So, the guy also dates for different reasons, too. So he doesn't expect anything. Most of the time, the guy is looking to see what's going to be happening on that date- Is she into me? Are there some sexual overtones? Are there no sexual overtones? does she look like she wants a relationship? That first date, honestly, is feeling each other out. You have no idea where it's going to go. Some of the time it goes to the bedroom, some of the time it goes nowhere, some of the time it goes to an awkward kiss, some of time it turns into a friendship, some of the time it turns into your next love. So you don't know. It's a crapshoot. Guys are equally as nervous as you are, so go in with no expectations and just enjoy the night.
What does a guy expect on the second and third date?
This is so funny because this question is always asked of me all the time. You know, that myth of the three date rule that you need to be swapping spit and getting naked together. The fact is everything is different, every situation is different, I'm not about rules. Any dating person that has rules, I want you to shoot them in the head and basically throw them out, because rules are a bunch of crap. If you want to sleep with somebody on date one, you're an adult, do it. If you want to sleep with somebody on date two, you're an adult, do it. Don't ever, ever have expectations for set rules. Because I know people who have had relationships where they slept together on the first date and they've been together thirty years. I know people that waited a month and they've been together thirty years. There's no set timetable so do whatever you feel like doing and give yourself permission to do what you feel like doing but whatever you do, don't come up with guilt the next day, whatever you've done.
What do guys expect from a single mom on the first few dates?
The guy already knows your a single mother. The thing you do not need to talk about is how bad of a guy your ex-husband is and how your kids need a daddy because that daddy stuff scares us away every single time. We will, once we start liking you and loving you, we'll embrace your kids very quickly. We'll get used to your kids very quickly. We'll start wanting to be with your kids also. But in the beginning it's about you and that guy not anything else. And a lot of women don't get that. They push the baby talk or the single moms push the kid talk at a guy too fast and the guy bails and the guy probably would have never bailed had she just held back for maybe two or three dates.
What are good first date topics?
Anything but how many kids you want to pop out in two months. First dates should not be resume swapping. What I would suggest when a guy asks you where you want to go on our first date, suggest anything but dinner. Dinner is extremely boring. You are sitting there chewing food, exchanging resumes, thinking of things to say. What I like to do is have activity dates. Because when you have an activity date you can talk about things you like, and also you can talk about other things that are going on. So activity dates are less pressure dates, more fun and easy. The do and don'ts of dating, just do not talk about past relationships. Do not talk about guys who screwed you over. Do not talk about how you were cheated on because you will just get the same thing back. If you talk about that, the guy will just talk about his negative things and you are going to start up in a very negative tone. There is plenty of time to talk deeper later. Keep it light, keep it fun keep it fresh.
Should I ever pay on a date, or should the guy pay?
Offer. I always believe that if you offer it's a nice gesture. When I ask a woman out I expect to pay and I have no issues paying at all, but if she offers it's really nice because it shows she's not looking for a free ride and I respect that. Most guys like a woman that volunteers. If you offer on that first date and he accepts it never go out with him again. There's one rule I'll have and that's the one rule: If the guy is cheap, the guy's going to be cheap with you. The guy's going to be cheap with himself. If you have kids the guy's going to be cheap that way. It's nice to offer. What I suggest, is after you've gone out on one date, two dates, three dates, bring over some food to his house, maybe pick up the movie that you're watching. Just little things because we want to know that you want to participate, because it's very expensive in today's world. We like to know that you're willing to participate and not looking for that free ride.