Guys And Love
Guys And Love
David Wygant (Dating Coach) gives expert video advice on: Do men believe in love at first sight?; What makes a man fall in love?; How fast does a guy know if he's in love? and more...
Do men believe in love at first sight?
I have had many men come and tell me and I have had many e-mails sent. You know when I wrote stuff on my blog. Because I will write very controversial to get people to start talking. And one guy wrote me this passionate e-mail. He told me that the second he layed eyes on his wife, he knew he had to go over and talk because he knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with her. Men feel the same way. Men believe in that: serendipitous moment just like women do. It is just two souls connecting and that is what that whole soul mate thing is about. You can feel that energy but it usually takes people that are very emotionally in touch with themselves to really read other people's energy.
What makes a man fall in love?
What makes a man fall in love; I think if I knew the answer, that question I would be spurts up on a hill, top of a mountain, top with the beautiful state, looking down on everybody. What makes, everybody is different. There's no, "I fall in love for reasons different and my friend falls in love. Some guys like to be nurturing and taking care of; other guys like a dynamics speak far women that motivate their brain. Other men fall in love based on beauty, some men fall in love based on woman's quirky personality. It's just different for everybody, there's nothing that you can do to package yourself to get all men to fall in love with you. You just got fall in love with yourself first and if you're in love yourself then you find the guy that you fall in love with you too. That's the key love yourself and the guy will love you back.
How fast does a guy know if he's in love?
There's no rule with this. I met some woman a long, long time ago, about twenty years ago, I told her I loved her within the first two hours - I just felt it. There was this unbelievable energy that we had between us, our souls felt like they were connecting - it was unreal. Other people, it's taken me months to finally fall in love with them. It just depends in the moment - it depends on where you're at, it depends on how you guys connect, there's so many variables - it depends on what your chemistry is. But, the initial pangs of 'love' can happen very quickly. Real love stands the test of time and I truly believe that real love is only love that can happen over the course of one year. One year. Every thing else, it's just not working. You don't have the foundation. You don't have any of the experiences together. You can love somebody after the first month and find out they're 'psycho' after month six.
Should I say 'I love you' first, or wait for him to say it?
I've had women say they love me first, and I've also said 'I love you' first, and let me tell you, I believe, percolate the 'I love you' for quite sometime. It's like a pot of tea; let it steep for as long as possible. Don't blurt it out, because I think we have feelings of love very quickly. The sex is fantastic, we're enjoying it and we're having a connection with somebody. We can go to Target together, we start to envision a future with them. That's just fantasy right there, that's not reality quite yet, so when you start feeling the first pangs of love, let it percolate because the first time is always the best time you tell someone that you love them. So the minute you feel it, let it move forward and let it keep moving forward and then it becomes real and not just something in the moments.
When do I know if a guy is ready to say 'I love you'?
He might say, "Wow we should go on vacation together. It will be so great to go away for a weekend. I can't wait until Christmas until you can go meet my family. My brother's coming to town. You've got to meet him! You're going to love him!" That's him starting to say, "I love you." He's looking for the encouragement so what you need to do is encourage those words out of his mouth by saying, "God I can't wait to meet your brother! Christmas time? Yeah, let's definitely talk about it. Hawaii sounds great in the fall." That will encourage him to think it's safe enough for him to say "I love you".
What if I say 'I love you' and he says nothing?
I've said "I love you" and they've said absolutely nothing. So what do you do in that situation? You say nothing. You allow those feelings to come out. Be proud of those feelings and honor those feelings. You don't want to look at him the next day and go, "Well, why didn't you tell me you loved me? I don't understand. Do you not love me?" And he's going to feel forced to say "I love you." Some guys have a longer reaction time. I had a woman tell me that she loved me, it took me three days to look at her and say, "You know what? I thought about what you said. I really love you too. I wasn't ready to say it. I really needed to feel it." I mean you just can't say things and expect someone to say the same thing back. If you're going to tell a guy that you love him, be okay with your feelings, and not look for an outcome.
Should I break up with him if he can't say he loves me?
If that guy is still seeing you on a regular basis and he's enjoying every moment with you, he might have trouble opening up. Make it a safe place to open up the feelings, not an ultimatum. How would you like if someone gave you an ultimatum? say, sit, tell me you love me right now or I'm going to leave you. No one wants that. Ultimatums don't work in any which way. My mother used to give me an ultimatum, "Clean your room or you're not going to have dessert." Fine, I waited until she went to bed so I can go get the cookies.