Guys And Sex
What really turns him on in bed?
I think that that's a real individual thing. I think to understand a man sexually, you have to go at your own pace and see what develops. And ultimately, you talk about what each other likes. You bring things up, and you sort of explore together and test each other's limitations, and go in the direction that feels comfortable for both of you. As you get to know each other; the more confident a woman is in bed, the more comfortable a man is in terms of communicating his interests. So I think that just reaching a comfort level in a progressive way, so that you can explore, is really something that leads to a healthy sex life.
How adventurous should I be the first time I have sex with a guy?
I think that being adventurous is something that you need to pace and see what your comfort level is. So if you are sexually adventurous in general, I would sort of test the limits and sort of see what he is comfortable with. You don't want to scare anyone off with incredibly aggressive initial behavior because you don't know their comfort level. So slowly test it, and then you can share fantasies. You can talk with your partner about what you like and what's desirable for you and explore that together.
Why do guys want the lights on during sex?
Not every man likes to have sex with the lights on, but I do think that men are very visual and it just adds to the overall experience. It's a tactile experience. It's a physical experience. And there's also a visual experience. He wants to be able to see, is she taking pleasure on what I'm doing. What does she look like. I want to see how beautiful she is. I really enjoy that visual addition to the whole experience. So I think that's an element into it.
What do I do if our sex life becomes routine?
Making relationships exciting and maintaining connection past the honeymoon period, routine sex life, et cetera. It takes a lot of work to make sure that you keep that passion alive. So it may be things like having a great date night once a week, making sure that you still primp and shave your legs, and put on your makeup, and dress nicely for your man, so that you're really keeping that fire alive, and making time for romance. And that is the most important thing, is not neglecting your sex life, and not neglecting your romantic life, and really making time for it, and making it exciting for the both of you.
How do I get my guy into foreplay?
Foreplay is a really important topic because a lot of times men will sort of rush to having sex. For women sexuality is a real emotional element and a lot of women need foreplay and romance and kissing. And I think it's as clear as letting him know at the right time, "You know what, I really love? I really love hugging and kissing and making out for a while and really creating a really intimate environment for us that turns me on. Ultimately maybe twenty minutes or thirty minutes of really setting things up and wooing me makes me a lot more turned on. Can you do that for me? Is that something that we can do together?" And really communicating those desires.
How do I tell him I want to shake up our sex life?
I think that if your feeling that your sex life is not the way that you'd like it to be and you want to be more spicy, I think that you could make some suggestions and you could sit down with your partner and say "have you thought maybe trying this, or I would love to try this, what's your thought?" Trying things suddenly and seeing the direction it goes in, really thinking about things that would really make it exciting for you, and then making that suggestion and see if the other person is open to it.
