Helping Others With Alcohol Addiction
How can I tell if someone is an alcoholic?
An alcoholic is someone who persistently or consistently drinks more than everyone else, and is encouraging people to drink more. An alcoholic is someone who the next day often wants to get up and the first thing they say is "let's go and have another drink". Observe them. They may be sweating, shaking, have anxiety, or they may often be nauseous in the mornings. Alcohol will have become the prime thing in their lives. They're not making too many decisions without alcohol, and they're missing things when alcohol isn't involved. Those would be pretty good warning signs.
How do I approach a friend who is suffering from alcoholic addiction?
One of the most important things in starting to talk to someone about this would be not to judge or be accusatory and not to suggest in some way that it's them that are wrong or bad, but rather perhaps to be able to talk about some of the problems that come up through thier drinking. Encourage them to talk. Get them to think about the difference between how they perceive things to be and perhaps how they really are. Give someone the opportunity to look at getting some help. Perhaps offering to go with them and offering to be there alongside them to talk about not being alone. Also, when thinking and chatting through a friend, you have to think about your own position. If you are in fact out with someone who is drinking pretty heavily and you find yourself getting involved in behavior that is worrying for you, then there might be someone you also need to talk to.
How can I get help for someone who is addicted to alcohol?
There are a lot of services around now. Most boroughs will have a local alcohol service, either run by the NHS, the local authority, or a charity. So it's possible, by looking on the Internet or looking in the yellow pages, to find help for someone. You can encourage them to go to the GP. One of the things to think about, obviously, in an emergency, if you're really concerned about someone's drinking, and you're out with one of them and they're passed out or there's a real health problem, is to be able to contact the emergency services.
If an alcoholic is unwilling to get help, what can I do about it?
That's a pretty difficult one, because there's not a huge amount that anyone else can do when an alcoholic is unwilling to get help. I think that you need to try to encourage people, to talk about being there for them. But also often it might be assisting the people around them. So, if your friend has a partner and children, it's about what support they may need. So if the person themselves isn't going to do anything, it's what needs to happen for the rest of that family.
If I suspect my teenage child is drinking what should I do?
Bear in mind, first of all, that most teenagers of certain age do drink and we must as a parents think about that. Not about accusing, but about giving information that's helpful and is not judgmental. If you have some concerns about your child that he's drinking quite problematically, then maybe you'd take them to a G.P or to the school counsellor. Thinking about it in context, in the last 10 years there's been quite a lot of press about young people and teenage drinking. There's also been a lot of promotion of alcoholic drinks towards younger people. It's important to think as the parent that it's very different - there are immediate concerns about “Oh my goodness, what is happening to my child?”. Try to find the level of that, give helpful advice and information, and talk to someone or contact a local alcohol service that can explain the situation.
Do I approach my child in the same way that I would approach an adult?
I think it's important, that if you are going to talk to your child about their drinking that you definitely should not to be judgmental. Hence, think hard before you start banning them, or saying they have to stay home, or whatever. Consider taking an approach that looks at education, and is based on the feelings and relationships you have with them. It isn't the same as talking to an adult. The pressures on children are different. And, I think we all know as parents, one of the worst things that you can do is to say "you can't go out", "you mustn't do this", "that's it"; often, that gives us the response that we don't want.
I'm concerned about my parent's drinking, what should I do?
It's important that you think about keeping yourself safe and finding someone to talk to - that may be an adult at school, like the school counselor. Equally, most burroughs have services for young people who are affected by parental drug or alcohol misuse. Indeed, in the agency that I work, we do a lot of interventions with children and young people who are concerned about parental drinking, offering them advice and support, looking at the issues for them and eventually being able to work with their parents as well. It is important to talk to someone, not hold on to it alone and not feel guilty or responsible in any way for your parents drinking too much.
