Hiring Nannies
What interview questions should I ask a nanny or au pair?
You want to start by finding out about their family background. Ask them where they're from, ask them if they have brothers and sisters, find out where their relatives live, and see what kind of relationships they have with their own relatives. Many of the people have big families, and they're used to taking care of their little brothers and sisters. I find that at least half the nannies have huge families. So you want to know a little bit about their personal life; whether or not they're married, you want to know whether or not they're dating. Often times you will find somebody who is involved with another person. The nanny may be fine, but the boyfriend or the girlfriend could cause problems, and because they're in your home with your children, you want to know about their personal life. They should know up front that there's nothing more personal than leaving your child with somebody, so it's always ok to ask all of those types of personal questions. You're going to have to find out about their health history, to find out whether they're taking any type of medications, you're going to want to find out whether they're smoking, or not smoking, and you are going to need to find out about all of their own insurances. For example, any nanny that you might have come over that doesn't really have a driver's license or doesn't have car insurance, you would need to pass on that person right away. If there ever is an emergency, you would need somebody who could possibly take them to the hospital.
How do I check the background of a nanny or au pair?
It depends on which state you're in, because each state does things a little bit different. However, all states have background investigations, and you can do one yourself. You can find out what the criminal background is of any individual with some information and permission to look for it. So you're going to need their driver's license number, you're going to need their social security number, and you're going to need their written permission to do a civil and criminal background investigation. A lot of times they may not have a criminal background investigation that involves children, but there may be other financial aspects of their life that could be troublesome for you. When they're in your house, they're not just around your kids, but they are also around your bank statements, your personal things, and everything there is to know about your life. So you want to be able to first, ask them for their background. You want to go to the agency that recommended them and say “What do you have on file? How recent is it?” Then you want to go to the agencies where they actually applied for the background investigation, and check to make sure that it all checks out with you.
What house rules should I set for a nanny or au pair?
The house rules that you set for a nanny are different from house to house. Mine, for example, might be that no visitors are allowed. If you have relatives in from out of town, or if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, I want you spending all of the time watching my kids. One of the things I personally would do is that I wouldn't hire a nanny that is like a babysitter. In other words, a person that will just sit there and the kids do whatever they want to do. I would want educational activities or sports or something going on where they're actually working over there with the children. Your house rules are going to be what activities you want the children to be involved in. Obviously it's going to deal with bed time, and it can also deal with homework. It's going to deal a lot with nutrition, because what your nanny thinks is good nutrition for your kids might not be the same as you. In some cases their idea might even be better, depending on how parents feed their kids. It's also behavioural. You're going to need to have some rules about how to handle bad behavior, or misbehavior, because if it's okay to send a child to the room or to give them a time out or do some other type of punishment, you have got to make sure that the disciplinary actions are identical to what you do in your own home. This is because kids need consistency, as it gives them a great sense of security. They love having boundaries and rules, even if they don't seem like they do. They need something that they can count on. Therefore, you don't want a situation where they can know what they can get away with the nanny and what they can get away with mom or dad, and kids will figure that out in a second. You need consistency. House rules would certainly involve any type of disciplinary consistency.
How can I help my child adjust to a nanny or au pair?
The best way to having them adjust to a nanny or au pair is to be there at the beginning and spend time. Don't just introduce them and say "here's your new nanny, goodbye". You should be there if you can in the first couple of days for the whole time. You can then adjust and make that time less and less, but you should plan to get to know the child and the nanny together - all the family together.
How can I ensure my nanny or au pair follows house rules?
There's a number of ways you can do that, which includes electronic surveillance. It's very big to have "nanny-cams" as they call them so that you can actually see and hear what's going on in your own home. You don't normally hear about anything but the negative side of that, where the nanny-cams catch something going on wrong. Like, for example, the kids who may or may not know how to swim are in the swimming pool; the nanny's might be on the telephone talking to her boyfriend, and not paying attention to the kids. Those things could be life-threatening situations. So if you can afford it, I certainly would recommend that. However, if you can't afford something like that, you want to keep coming back to your house. Just like the advice for a day care facility: you need to pop in and keep coming back. The other thing that's important is talking to your kids. Make sure that you ask your children what they did, you know, with the nanny, and how was the visit, and ask them questions to make sure. Your kids will tell you whether they're comfortable with that person or not and if they're really uncomfortable, there's a reason, and you need to listen to your kids when that happens.
