How To Act If You Discover Your Spouse Is Having An Affair

What do I do if I discover that my spouse is having an affair?

Let's say you have proof positive that your partner is having an affair. You've got a letter that shows so, or you've got the phone call from the lover, or you hired a detective that shows you photographs. So, you've got the information there, and you can't deny it. Now you just want the truth out. OK. If you've got facts; you've got something concrete, that's certainly a way to present your claim and to seek the truth. Ideally, in a perfect world, if you really want to save your relationship, you can start with positive intention. There's a technique called the Oreo cookie, and essentially, you start with the positive. I know, by the way, that you're not happy with this information, and what I'm about to tell you may not be easy, but try this, because it will make a miraculous difference in opening the line of communication. So, you start with what it is you want. Hopefully, even if you're really angry right now, you want to get to the bottom of this and you want to save your relationship, and hopefully there still is some love in there that you're fighting for, so start with "I love you. I'm devastated. I need to talk to you about this. I want to hear the truth. Let's start here." Show them what you have got. That's the filling. "This is what I believe. This is what I know. This is how it makes me feel," and then close it with love. Close it with the chocolate. "I want to make this work. I want us to get through this. I don't even know how we're going to get through this. I want to get through this, and this is what I need from you."