How To Calm Someone Who Is Angry

How can I calm someone who is angry?

We will always suggest, not asking somebody to calm down when they're angry, because all that does, it makes them angrier. In fact the worst thing you want to do when somebody is angry is to tell them to relax. What we suggest that you do, is to communicate whereby they're able hear you, and the most effective way that you can do that, is by saying to them 'I hear that you are angry, what do you need from me?' And to keep repeating that, 'What do you need from me? What do you need from me? I understand that you are angry. What do you need from me?' and often you will find, that in the beginning stages of that, people become angrier. But the idea is that there is this link between an individuals' needs, their emotional needs feeling valued or listened to or understood or appreciated or respected, and their anger. So when I actually ask that question, 'What do you need from me?' What that does, it actually brings them more into what they are thinking, and what it is that they are feeling, and it gives them the opportunity to eventually say 'Well actually, I need you to listen to me' or, 'I need you to understand me, I need you to value me'. It's much healthier than asking somebody to calm down or asking someone to relax because they will not be doing that, especially when they are on a roll.