How To Heal Your Marriage After You Have Been Unfaithful

How can I help heal my marriage after I have been unfaithful?

If you've been unfaithful and you've decided "I want to come home," it's important to realize that you're not going to be able to put the affair away and lock it up. You're going to have to be accountable. You're going to have to be prepared that your partner is going to ask you lots and lots and lots of questions. You may have to be giving up some of the freedom that you've had. Your phone; she may or he may want to check your cell phone or email. They will want you to be an open book, and you have to be prepared to give that to them, at least for a time. You have to be prepared to be radically honest about how you spend your time and how you spend your money. It's also important for you to understand the pain you've caused and that this has caused. Be empathetic. Be open to your partner going through post-traumatic stress; lots and lots and lots of feelings and reactions. You have to be patient as they move through this. You have to be continually asking for forgiveness and saying "I'm sorry I hurt you," and telling your partner how much you want to make the marriage work, because for a while, you may be the one holding the concept that 'we will get through this, we will get through this,' until your partner gets back on board and is ready to forgive.