How To Stop Obsessing About Your Spouses Infidelity

How can I stop obsessing about my spouse's infidelity?

When you find out that your partner's had an affair, often what happens is that your mind starts searching for answers: "Why? How? Did he lie here? Did she lie here? When he went on the business trip... When she worked late..." and your mind starts trying to fill in all the details. Obsessing over the affair only hurts you more and more because your mind doesn't know what is real and what is memory. Every scene you obsess about and play in your head is like taking a knife and injuring yourself more. This is not the time for more injury! You've been injured enough after a partner has cheated. You need to start working to stop the obsession, stop the thoughts. One way to end the obsession is by literally thought stopping. You sit there, you feel your mind going off, you're off and running, tell yourself, "STOP! NO!" You set a limit, right there; you tell your thoughts, "Absolutely not! No! Go away! Stop!" And a thought comes? "No! Stop! I said no!" Thought stopping is really powerful. Another thing is to maybe go on an obsessional diet so that for thirty minutes a day, you can obsess all you want. You can think about all the details, you can hurt yourself all you want with how you've been injured. However, at the end of those thirty minutes, or fifteen minutes, or five minutes, the alarm goes off. You're done for the day. No more thoughts, no more. You can have other thoughts, you can have pleasant thoughts, because it's important to remember that what you think is how you feel. If you're thinking thoughts that hurt you, you're going to be feeling really bad. This whole situation you're in, already feels bad. Don't add to it. Counter it with much nicer thoughts that are going to make you feel good. It's going to help you get through this a lot better and stop you from obsessing over your spouse's affair.