Original content from | Corporate Services | Talent Partnerships
Your epoints

How can I stop my spouse from yelling at me?

This film is part of the series "How To Stop Your Spouse From Yelling At You"

How To Stop Your Spouse From Yelling At You

Sheri Meyers (Marriage and Family Therapist) gives expert video advice on: How can I stop my spouse from yelling at me?

How can I stop my spouse from yelling at me?

What do you do if your partner is yelling at you? You could take a time out, but often when our partners are losing it, as we might say, it's really difficult, because everything pisses them off. What I recommend is this: don't defend yourself ,because if you're in the line of fire, there's not too much you can say that isn't going to incite your partner. What you need to do is counterbalance it by being very calm, very rational, very reasonable. You need to breathe, you need to affirm your partner that it's going to be okay. If you can, listen to the pain behind the anger because, usually, when there's anger there's pain underneath it. See if you can hear the message of pain underneath your partner's anger. If your partner is scaring you and it's seeming to go absolutely nowhere after you've tried to calm your partner down, then it is very important that you take a time out and promise to return. Sometimes, our partner is shouting because they don't feel that they're being heard, so let your partner know that you're hearing them. Also, ask, "What can I do?" Those words, "what can I do?", sometimes will just immediately calm the wolf into a lamb.