Independent Adoption
What is an "independent" or "private" adoption?
An independent adoption is an adoption that takes place without the use of an adoption agency. Often the services of an attorney will be employed, but this type of adoption is without an agency. In some instances, there are people who may not want to work with an agency. Perhaps they feel that it can be less burdensome and less tedious, and the adoption process could be faster.
How do I find an attorney for an independent or private adoption?
The best way to find an attorney for an independent adoption is to talk to your friends, your family and coworkers - people who can give you recommendations. There are also agencies you can go to. The American Academy of Adoption Attorneys is a good place to start, or an agency in your state or listings of attorneys. You want to look for an adoption attorney who's carried out a number of adoptions, who is recommended by your friends, who you know to the ethical and who obviously doesn't have any strikes against him or her in terms of their legal doings. I think, most importantly, the adoption attorney should be someone that your friends have worked with and someone you feel comfortable with.
After I have found an attorney, how do I find a birthmother?
There are a number of ways for you to locate a birthmother in your adoption. You can take out classified ads in the newspaper on your own. You can work through other agencies and through adoption consultants. It really depends on your comfort level and what's available to you in your state or area when locating a birth mother during an adoption.
Are there additional risks with independent adoption?
There are some risks associated with independent adoption, primarily because there's not a single set of regulations that govern it, and the regulations change from state to state. Sometimes it can also be very costly. The parameters are important to protect both the birth mother and the adopted parent, as you certainly don't want to go through the long process of adoption and have the birth mother change her mind, because that's painful for both parties. You also want to have some sense of what the costs are going to be going in, so that the costs don't increase beyond a point where you, the adopted parents, are able to cover them, and you want to again protect both parties. Adoption is a sensitive and sometimes difficult process, so you want to make sure that everybody is covered.
Do adoptive parents cover any of the birthmother's expenses?
In an independant or private adoption, often times the adoptive parents do cover the birthmother's expenses. And depending on the arrangements that are made between the adoptive parents and the birthmother, those costs can range from medical costs, legal costs, sometimes housing, clothing. It depends on the arrangements that are made. It's usually primarily the medical and legal costs for both the birthmother and the adoptive parents that are covered.
What is "baby-buying"?
"Baby-buying" - also known as placement money - is the illegal act of exchanging monies between the adoptive parents and the birth mother. It is very important when you go through the adoption process to avoid any appearance of purchasing the child in any way, shape or form. It is illegal to, in any way, shape or form to appear that you are 'baby-buying' - purchasing a child.
What do I need to find out from the obstetrician treating the birthmother?
If you can, from the obstetrician that is treating the birthmother, you should get a sense of what fees he or she charges, their insurance, which hospital the baby will be delivered at, and what the policies of the hospital are governing adoptions, if you can find that out. They're important to know because you'll want to know that you can meet the fees, that it's an obstetrician who has insurance and is covered by the right processes, and it's a hospital that you'll be comfortable with and they have policies that will make you comfortable with having your adoption take place there.
Should I be concerned about which hospital the birthmother chooses?
You wanna make sure that the hospital the birthmother chooses is one in which you both feel comfortable because it's going to be a place where really, a significant moment take places. You want to make sure you're comfortable with hospital policy and governing options. You want to find out if the adoptive parents can be in the room when the birthmother gives birth. You want to find out who will take care of the child, bathe and feed the child, if the birthmother wants to give him or her up immediately after giving birth. It's a number of things like that you'll want to look at. Primarily, make sure it's a place that you feel comfortable.
