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Infidelity Prevention

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Infidelity Prevention

Sheri Meyers (Marriage and Family Therapist) gives expert video advice on: Should I avoid friendships with people I'm highly attracted to?; How do I avoid cheating on my spouse? and more...

Should I avoid friendships with people I'm highly attracted to?

I'm often asked. Okay, I ‘ve got a gorgeous friend and I'm kind of attracted to her, but I'm married; is it okay to pursue this friendship? Come on what do you think? Do you not think this is a huge vulnerability? Come on, take a look at the situation. You're attracted to this person, and you're developing a friendship. the friendship means that you're opening up, you're sharing and you're attracted to this person. This is a path that's very dangerous. Look at all the energy that's its going to take to not fall in love, and to not be sexual. Even in that tug of war, you're taking it away from your family, and you're taking that energy away from your spouse. If you can take this desire to connect with this friend and make your spouse this friend and take this energy and connect with your spouse. It's going to be better energy served and there's going to be lots more in return. Stay away from the friend that you're attracted to if you're married.

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Tips & Comments
  1. choices

    Thank you for being so rational in your advice. Most people don't want to hear that they can't have what they want when they want it, as once the heart is involved most will justify to get what their heart desires. However the truth is that lust rarely lasts and eventually you are back where you started and even if eveything is going o.k in the back of your mind you must be thinking "if he or she is getting bored with me will he or she do to me what they did to their last partner". Trust is such a foundation to build any relationship on let alone a marriage and is so hard to get back once lost. How much easier if one stops and thinks of the consequences long term and sees the person who may be just as worn out in this marriage as you are. Look at them as someone who is really strong for staying there and if you look at one positive attribute your spouse has daily it will feed your appreciation. Lets face it, if the 'adored one' had to live your real life would they stay so attractive for long? We have gotten used to a quick fix so sad as we cost ourselves of the real love that comes only after many years and shared memories.

  2. Anonymous

    Where are you located? I want to stop in!

  3. Anonymous

    Oh my... have an open relationship and you can dump the whole jealousy and infidelity crap. Loving more than one person is a wonderful thing and not a threat. If your partner doesn't want you to be with people you are attracted to, he/she doesn't love you. If you love someone you want that person to be happy, regardless what. Otherwise you are just afraid to lose that person.

  4. er_mano

    damn, she's great, fantastic advices and councellor.

  5. Anonymous

    great! thanks! you are a great councellor

  6. Buka

    gut gemacht

  7. Anonymous

    Haha "love deposits". Poo in the marital bed, smile at your wife and point at your love deposit. Good advice.

  8. Anonymous

    good advice