Initial Wedding Decisions
What should my first wedding planning decision be?
I think that if you know what your style is, it might help you narrow down the choice of the wedding venue when you're looking for the right kind of a space. If you're very traditional, perhaps you wouldn't choose a hotel that has a very modern, contemporary looking ballroom. You should know a little bit about your style. You may not know what your style is; it may not really have gelled in there until you start looking. When you start looking at places or looking at different kind of things, you'll start to realize that you always choose things that are very contemporary or very traditional looking. Let that evolve, if you need to.
When should I choose my wedding party gifts?
The gifts for your wedding party can be selected at any point in time. Often, the bride decides that what she'd like to give the girls is jewelry, like a necklace that's going to go with their dresses, in which case, you have to choose the dresses first, obviously. If you're looking for other objects or other items, I think that when you find the right item, you should buy it. It's okay to start looking right away.
Should my fiance and I practice our first dance?
When we're talking about your first wedding dance, if you're taking dance lessons, then obviously you're going to practice it. Let's say you've decided not to take any dance lessons. You've picked your wedding song. I still think it would be nice if you practiced. You put the music on in the privacy of your own home, do it a couple of times in the living room, and it'll give you a really good feeling for how you're going to move together and for how long that song is. One of the things that your wedding band is going to ask you is, "Do you want to dance to the full length of this song?" If you've practiced dancing to it all the way through a couple times, you've got a really good feeling for how long it is and how that's going to feel when you're out there out on the floor all alone in front of a hundred people.
What is a 'wedding officiant'?
A wedding officiant is the person who performs the wedding ceremony. It might be clergy, it might be a religious person, it might be a judge, it might be a family friend, it might be your brother. It could be anyone, but the person who performs the ceremony would be called the officiant. If that person is a friend, they will need to obtain a special license in order to perform that wedding ceremony, for it to be legal.
What are the important things to consider when choosing a wedding officiant?
When you choose a wedding officiant, the first thing to consider is whether you're religious. Are you both the same religion? Do you want a religious wedding? After that, you're going to look at who is your minister or your rabbi or your priest. Is this the person that you want to marry you? Many couples today want some religious elements but they don't want the wedding to be super-religious, so they will hire someone to do it that will give them the leeway to pick and choose the parts that they want in their ceremony. Lots of couples are being married these days by a friend, or a family friend, who will do the wedding ceremony for them. That person can be ordained for one day. It's a special license and they are the officiant to marry you, and it is a certified official wedding.
Are interfaith weddings hard to plan for?
Inter-faith weddings can be difficult to plan for. It depends on what's going on in your families. If you're getting some good co-operation, you might want to invite your rabbi and your minister to perform, for example, if the wedding is Jewish and Presbyterian. Most clergy are willing to co-operate with each other to perform a wedding ceremony. In that case, you can have an absolutely lovely ceremony, and they will include the elements that they need to include from each of the denominations, and make something beautiful for you.
How far in advance should I send out my wedding invitations?
Wedding invitations are typically sent out to six to eight weeks in advance. The consideration is going to be where you live and What goes on in your community and city. I'm in Los Angeles, and people in Los Angeles for some reason are incredibly busy. We typically send out our invitations eight weeks in advance.
What are some interesting places for weddings?
There are so many interesting places for weddings, and I think that it depends a great deal on what your location is. Depending on your part of the country, you could look at museums. Museums have beautiful spaces for weddings. They're very often private homes that have gardens that they rent out, that can be very lovely. Certainly your typical hotel ballrooms can be excellent. Private clubs can be great for weddings, as well. Some private clubs will actually rent their space to people that are not members. They'll get you a sponsor. That requires a little bit of investigation.
