Knowing Someone With Cancer
What should I say to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer?
To someone who has been diagnosed with cancer, I would say, don't panic. There's lots of hope and good cancer treatment out there. Get yourself the best doctor you can find in your area, that's an expert in that particular kind of cancer. You may want to get another opinion or two. Go with the doctor you're most comfortable with, and do whatever they tell you to do. Take care of yourself. Keep your focus on the future, and you'll get through this cancer.
What should I not say to someone with cancer?
You should not tell someone with cancer all about the people that you know that have been diagnosed with cancer and haven't done well, and have had reactions to their cancer treatment. This is because every person is different and it really doesn't matter how Aunt Sara reacted because your friend or loved one that is going through the cancer may have a completely different reaction. And if they're having a rough time, you don't want them to feel compared to someone, someone who did so well when they went through cancer.
Is it appropriate to ask someone what kind of cancer they have?
I think that what kind of cancer they have is private. I don't know. I don't think I would ask what type of cancer they had been diagnosed with.
Is it appropriate to ask someone what stage their cancer has been diagnosed?
To ask someone what stage their cancer has been diagnosed, for me it would depend on how comfortable I was with that person and how close her relationship is. That's a pretty private question. If they seem optimistic, then you can assume that it's an early stage in their cancer, and depending on how they're reacting, if it were a later stage. That's a pretty private issue, I think, and I might use the same discretion with what type of cancer.
Is there any one thing I can say to someone with cancer to make them feel better?
I think just letting the cancer patient know you will be there for them. It would be very difficult to face this cancer alone and I think it's when you really need to know who loves you and is there for you.
What are some practical things I can do to help someone with cancer?
Some practical things you can do for someone with cancer, if you know them well, is you could ask them if you could help them with any of their daily responsibilities, such as picking up their children or bringing meals. And if they say no, you can just drop packages off at doors. Just something to encourage them. Maybe a nice candle, or flowers, or whatever you can do to let them know you're thinking of them, and want to help them through this cancer.
