Moving To A New School
Will moving to a new school be harmful to my child?
Moving to a new school will not necessarily be harmful. In fact it is very unlikely if that's the case. What it will be is challenging, because it will also present some new learning and development possibilities, which your child will have to cross, and with your support is very likely to be able to do.
How can I make moving to a new school as easy as possible for my child?
Moving to a new school can be easier, not necessarily easy, if you take the time to prepare your child. Get as much information as possible about the new school context and prepare them with that information in a low key way, not in a way that in anyway communicates worry or anxiety. Give them time to acknowledge the things they are leaving behind, but also to think about and wish for the future in terms of the things that they are likely to enjoy. For example, different school facilities, different social opportunities, different levels of responsibility and independence. All of those things are things to look forward to and share with them, and as always your own experiences and those of other members of the family.
I'm concerned about my child being separated from their friends, what can I do?
First of all, be clear about what your concern relates to. If it's in terms of how your child is behaving, or the things that they're actually saying, obviously you need to address those. If the concern relates to your own experience, or possibly your own emotional social baggage, be clear about that and talk it through with other adult members of the family. It's always good to get support in matters of this kind, and as always, it's important to spend time and to give time to your child to talk through the worries.
How can I help my child make friends at their new school?
First of all, emphasize all the good qualities; the positive qualities that you like about your child. Anything you do that increases their sense of self, their positive self esteem, is going to equip them well to go and interact with other people that they don't know yet. Remind them that they don't have to be everybody's friend, but that it's a good thing to be friendly with everybody. And remind them that they can take time to choose the people they want to be closest to.
My child is angry with me for making them move to a new school, what should I do?
First of all, you have to acknowledge that anger. Anger that's kept in doesn't do anybody any good. Your relationship will suffer unless you actually talk this through and find some kind of resolution. You have to find a mutual compromise here. In a sense, it's a learning opportunity for both of you but in terms of your child's learning, it's an experience of not having things exactly as they want them, of coping with change and new challenges. They will benefit from this in the long term. In the short term, it's difficult and it's painful. You will feel bad about making your child feel negative in this way but you can work through it and no doubt you've done this before.
I feel guilty about making my child move to a new school, what should I do?
Be aware that feeling guilty is something that all parents experience at some point in time. You want your child to be as happy as possible, to learn and to develop, and you want the best for your child. Sometimes, it will feel as though you haven't made the best choice in the world. Check this out with somebody else who is involved with the child, perhaps relatives or friends of the family, and get their take on it, because, very likely, you are being quite hard on yourself. If there is a grain of truth, and you are making a decision that hasn't been in their very best interest, then if you're clear about where it is falling short, you can do something about it. Guilt itself is not particularly constructive, it doesn't move anything on, so you do need to address it, you need to acknowledge it, you need to, if possible, get practical.
