Nanny Safety
What is a 'nanny-cam'?
Is a 'nanny-cam' legal?
Nanny cams are always legal, especially when you let someone know. The privacy issues are about having a reasonable expectation of privacy and as long as the nannies understand that they do not have an expectation of privacy while they're in your home, then whatever you're tape recording is something that they can't have a real issue with. Also, if they're committing a crime against the child, which is the lowest denomination of what a nanny cam might find, more along the lines you're going to see behavior that you don't like. That may even be your kid's behavior that you need to correct and not the nanny. The nanny might be doing just fine. Usually if there's a crime being committed it's always going to be admitted into evidence and not thrown out, because you are breaking some type of privacy law. Usually I would have the nanny sign an agreement that states that you will not have privacy while you are here, that we at our option can tape record and video record your activities with our children.
How can I keep my child safe while he's with a nanny or au pair?
The way that you keep them safe is by making sure, as best you can, that you don't put them in contact with an au pair or a nanny that would cause them any safety issues. The next thing you can do, depending on the age of your children, is to make sure that they can always reach you. If they've got a problem, and it's not being resolved by the nanny, then make sure they can find you - on the telephone. Often check in, call your home, or put your child on the phone (obviously if they are of a speaking age), and see how they are doing. Do it as often as you possibly can to really know that this particular au pair or nanny is providing a safe environment.
What safety rules should I teach my child before leaving him with a nanny or au pair?
The safety rules that you want to teach your children can include a tremendous number of different rules. For example, teaching them what "good touch, bad touch" is and showing them on a doll. These are areas that it's not okay for anyone you meet to touch you, and if this happens, you call me or you tell me what's going on. You let the person know that that's not okay with you. There's topics that involve those types of issues. There's also topics that involve basic things, like "What do you do in case there's a fire?" Naturally, the nanny or au pair is going to be the responsible person. They're the adult in the house and they're supposed to know how to respond to that. However, there could even be an emergency that involves the nanny. I've seen cases where a nanny, who is a perfectly qualified nanny, has a drug interaction and passed out. So, there's a four-year old sitting there with a person who's in trouble, medically, and they don't know what do . it's important to always teach kids how to dial 911, and when they're supposed to do that. It's also important, if you can, to have a network of friends and neighbors that your kid also knows. If there are other people who can help out in the case of an emergency, it's nice for your kid to know that. All of the basic safety rules. You've got to remember that kids are not safety-conscious. They don't think that they can get hurt. Ever. They're pretty much invincible, so you can talk to them about safety all you want, but you really want to place them in contact with adults that can help them be safe as well.
What are signs my nanny or au pair is abusing my child?
The signs that your nanny or au pair might abusing your child are going to be pretty obvious when your child's behavior changes. They're not going to want to be with the nanny, they're not going to want to be with that person. They're going to seem scared and there'll be something off. You might be asking them questions like "Well, is there something bothering you?" and they tell you nothing is bothering you. One of the typical things that child molesters do is they'll threaten a child by, once they're abusing them in some way, saying, "If you tell your parents, I'll kill your sister or I'll kill you or your mother." They're pretty evil people and they can get kids to keep secrets from their own parents even when they're being abused. That's only one example of how they might do it, but they do threaten children so they feel like they can't tell. You're going to notice a behavioral difference, and if you notice any behavioral difference in your child or a fear when that nanny is coming over, you need to stop working with that nanny or au pair immediately. Take your child to somebody who is a qualified counselor that can talk to them that really understands getting information from children that parents don't normally know how to do, until you get to the bottom line of it. Don't just wonder and think, "Oh, I don't know if there's a problem. Maybe there is, maybe there isn't". Treat it like it's a serious problem, and stop the contact between the nanny or the au pair and your child and see if there's a behavioral difference. Maybe it is something at school, maybe it isn't something that's happening at home, but it's difficult to always get good information out of children.
What should I do if I suspect my nanny or au-pair is abusing my child?
If you suspect that a nanny or an au-pair is abusing your child, the very first thing to do is to stop all contact between the nanny and the child. Make certain that you take the keys to your house back. Make certain that the nanny knows that you suspect a problem with them, and until you investigate it and get to the bottom of it, there's going to be no further contact between that person. Ensure your very next phone call is going to be to the police department. You're probably going to want to go through the process of getting a restraining order to make sure that that person cannot come in contact with your home or your family or your child. But, the same process of suspected child abuse that happens in every city, thousands of times a day, you're going to have to follow. I would not call the nanny agency first, I would call the police first, and the nanny agency will eventually be contacted by the police during the investigation.
