Negotiating House Rules With Your New Roommate

What is a 'lease' or 'roommate' agreement?

Sometimes, they're called roommate agreements, and sometimes they're called leases. A lease agreement is a contract between you and the landlord. A roommate agreement is basically the same thing, but a roommate agreement is between your roommate and you as the landlord. Roommate agreements can be signed between just roommates - let's say there are four roommates living together. This agreement is totally separate from the lease agreement with the landlord. It's a document specifying specific things that you want between the four of you: rules, payments, who's going to be making payments, when, how the payments are going to be made, who's in charge - that kind of thing.

Do lease agreements between roommates work?

Yes, they do. They will stand up in a court of law. If you signed a lease agreement or a roommate agreement with your roommate and you have specific rules implanted in it, for instance you pay five hundred dollars a month rent, and you decide you don't want to pay five hundred dollars a month rent - you have signed a contract saying you would! That contract will stand up in court. It's the same thing as a lease agreement that you have with your landlord. If he says no pets, for instance, you sign the document. No pets, but then you still get a dog. He has every right to kick you out, to evict you, because you broke the lease agreement.

Should I come up with a set of house rules for my new roommate?

House rules are very important. We have rules for whatever we do. We have rules for the road, rules in the classroom, rules regarding your garbage. When you have a bunch of people living together, whether it's two or five or seven people, you need a set of rules. Rules like no smoking, or no partying during the week, or no overnight guests, or whatever rules that you want to make, that's fine. You do need them in writing, you do. This is because if one of you decides to break the house rule, it's already written. Part of your lease/roommate agreement will state that if you don't follow these rules, you are going to be asked to leave. You can be given a thirty-day notice to leave.

What are the most common roommate conflicts?

One of the biggest problems that I have run across through the years, is overnight guests. This sounds so innocent and innocuous, but if you have a roommate that has a boyfriend, for instance, and he decides to spend the night, then all of the sudden it is two nights, then all of a sudden it becomes four nights, and then eventually he's there every day. He's not paying rent, he's not paying utility, he's eating your food, he's using the paper towels and the toilet paper, and the water, and he's taking a shower. Major resentment builds up with the other roommate, because he's there all the time. They've lost their right of privacy, and maybe they hate him - that has happened before. You need to be very careful about the rules that you set up. If it's four guys living together, for instance, and they each have a girlfriend, that could be a case of the more the merrier, or it could be a major disaster. You need to talk about these things. You need to be specific from the very beginning before you all move in together and sign the agreement.

Should a new roommate always be put on the lease agreement?

Let's say that you're renting an apartment. You're in an apartment. The lease is between you and the landlord, and you now have a roommate. I do not ever recommend roommates being on the lease. What you should do is have a separate agreement; roommate agreement between you and your roommates, and you run your roommates through his clearing agency. He knows you're going to get roommates, because it's okay in your lease. That's the other thing that you've got to be sure of - that it's okay in your lease to have a roommate. Not all leases allow you to have a roommate - you need to understand that first thing. The reason why I say they shouldn't be on a lease, is that, we'll say there's three of you living together, and you don't get along, but you all have equal rights to this apartment, and you all now hate each other. It's three months down the road, and you all hate each other. None of you want to leave. What are you going to do? Toss a coin? Nobody wants to leave - they all have equal rights to this apartment, because they're all on the lease. If they weren't on the lease, and only you were the lease holder, you could give each of them a thirty day written notice to leave - you don't have to have a reason. You need to always make sure of that, wherever you live. Whatever state, city, or county you live in - that you can get away with having not everybody on the lease. In some states, everybody has to be on a lease, whether you want to or not. You had better make sure that this person is really compatible before you all move in together, and all sign a lease together.